I was one of those mistakes, first a ‘mistake of nature’ and then a medical mistake. In my parents and doctor’s defense, they tried to do the right thing. My genitals were undefined, but they thought I resembled a boy more than a girl. They surgically closed my labia to form a scrotum, and rerouted my urethra. My parents gave me a boy’s name and dressed me as a boy. They gave me boy gifts and toys. And they hoped for the best.
Their plan worked well at first, at least they thought so. But me, I always knew they were wrong. Around age 7 or 8, they began to doubt their decision. By puberty, the mistake was obvious. My shoulders remained narrow, my voice didn’t drop, my hips widened, and I developed breasts. So that’s it… I am a girl with a penis.
Finally, my mother relented and allowed me to wear girl’s clothes and grow my hair. I was pretty! But things were not good in my life. I received a lot of cruelty from other kids and even some adults. My own father was not pleased with me. He didn’t understand that I was not “wishing” to be a girl… I AM a girl! At school, I was teased by those who knew me formerly as a boy. They called me ‘bakla’ and I felt the sting of being rejected for who I am.
No one knew that I had “corrective” surgery at birth, it isn’t something one goes around announcing. All they knew is that last school year I was a boy (although effiminate) and all of a sudden now I’m a girl. Personally, I was happy about it. I liked having curves, long hair, and pretty clothes and undies. I was crushed the first day of school that year when they teased me. I wanted to die.
I went home crying and told mama I am never going back to school. She didn’t take me seriously until the next day when I absolutely refused to go. She gave up arguing and let me be. After a week, she realized that something needed to be done.
They sent me to my uncle’s house in NCR. The idea being there would be no one who knew my past, and they would accept me as I am… a beautiful young lady. They did, and I was happy for a few years. Then, something happened…. I got a boyfriend.
His name was Ramon and we fell for each other quickly. We courted briefly and then became a couple. We were attached at the hip, people rarely saw one of us without the other. We became confidantes and told each other everything. But there was one thing I held back. It was a small thing (jk lng) but it was a thing never the less. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him something so personal… and ridiculous! It wasn’t obvious to me at the time that if he and I stayed together long enough, he was going to find out.
By this time, I had developed into a beautiful girl. I garnered looks and sometimes catcalls everywhere I went. I had a way of being cute and sexy at the same time, both beautiful and hot. There was nothing male about me. Well… there was one thing, haha, but it was always well concealed.
Of course, Ramon found it. We were together six months. Lately I was becoming terrified. I was in a position where it was too late to tell him, I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to lose him, so I just kept on. I rationalized it by thinking that he loves me so much that it won’t matter. We were alone in a private spot, making out, when he slid his hand up under my bra and felt up my 32As. I was half in heaven and half in hell. It felt so good! We had gone this far a couple of times already, and both times I made excuses and ran home. Both times I could see the disappointment on his face. I didn’t want to see that again, so I remained in his embrace and let him have his way with me. But then he finally put his hand in my pants and felt. In a while, his hand was still and he stopped kissing me. Then he explored around to see if what he suspected was true. After all, I was still a little bit ambiguous, my dick was bigger than the typical clit, but smaller than the average dick. He felt underneath. Uhmmm…. no pussy. We lay there silently for a few minutes. I was dying inside. Then he withdrew his hand, got up, and straightened his clothes and hair, his back to me. I called his name, and he responded “fuck you”.
Before he left, he turned around to face me, and the expression on his face became imprinted on my mind. I will never forget it. I can’t adequately describe it, maybe you can imagine.
As far as I know, he never told anyone. I guess it would be as embarrassing for him and it was for me. My secret was safe. But after those couple of years of happiness and normality, I was crushed once again. I fell into a deep depression and I hated myself. I vowed never to fall inlab again.
But the thing is, I enjoyed the feeling of being with a boy. I enjoyed his hands on me. I loved the attention and I loved being the object of desire. I loved the feeling of his lips on mine and his hands on my titties… and in my pants. So, I did the natural thing, I became a slut.
Now out of high school, I wasn’t limited to school or neighborhood contacts. I could do things that would stay anonymous. Even with little experience, I began to prey on guys by trapping them into sex with me. At first, I just gave blowjobs, and I did it for free. If any of my “victims” tried to feel my “pussy”, I would stop them. I’d tell them I was on my period or some other kind of excuse. And I would proceed to give them the best fucking oral sex they ever had. I would pick them up on the street, on the jeep, in jollibee, or wherever… have them take me somewhere relatively private, and let them fuck my mouth as long and as hard as they wanted. Sometimes I picked up two guys and took turns sucking and jacking them until they both cummed all over me.
I masturbated at night to the memory of what I had done in the day. I had two types of orgasms; one purely mental and the other purely physical. I came to know them as my ‘female’ and ‘male’ orgasms. The first was triggered emotionally and the other physically. They both feel fucking awesome, I can’t say one is better than the other. And after a while I realizes that the particular fantasy of the day had a lot do with it. The first type came by making love and the second came from being fucked!
It started with my finger, then fingers, then evolved into sitting on various objects and fucking myself. I’m not sure if I have a prostate in there or not, but it just feels so… great. The nerves in my ass are so sensitive, and I love the feeling of being stuffed. After orgasm, when I remove the object, the feeling of relief is incredible and the satisfaction remains for a long time. The feeling is like a drug. I decided I needed someone to fuck me, I needed to feel a cock inside me.
On my first “fuck pickup”, I wore a short, plaid schoolgirl skirt (ala Japan). I even went so far as the white blouse, a camisole (no bra), and white socks. I picked up a guy outside of a bank, he looked like a businessman. We went into the alley and made out, then I extracted his cock and blew him. When he was good and hard, I pulled down my panty under my skirt, turned around, bent over and to avoid an accident, I took his cock and hand-guided him into my pre-lubed butthole. With my hands on the brick wall, he fucked the daylights out of me, thinking he was in my pussy! The skirt concealed his true location, but he didn’t have his eyes open anyway. He was fucking my tight hole like there’s no tomorrow, I never had it so good! He blew a load into me and I felt it jet into my hot ass… and I loved it. I came also, the second type of orgasm, I shook like a man and got a shock in my dick and spine simultaneously. He pulled out, his dick still dripping, and he put it…