I’m in my early thirties, and I learned how to masturbate when I was eleven years old. I have been masturbating since then. Masturbation is definitely a secret thing, and there are only two persons in my life who caught me jacking off. The first one was my yaya when I was in elementary, and the second is my first cousin. Let’s just call my first cousin Ella.
I was in my early years in college and Ella was still in elementary. We were in our ancestral house in the province when it happened. I always made sure that the door is locked every time na nagbabati ako, but I forgot that my room’s door had an opening. Tinangal kase yung door knob kaya may maliit na hole sa room ko.
Incidentally, I was imagining her elder sister (my cousin Lora) when Ella peeped into the hole. Since Ella was only elementary and young, she had no clue what I was doing, yet she started saying loudly na “si kuya, ginaganyan nya yung titi nya.” She said that while gesticulating her hands up and down. I was so embarrassed not to her but the possibility that anyone in the house might hear what she was saying. I just told her that my titi was itching. That was years ago.
I went abroad to for many years and when I returned home, I saw a girl come out from the bathroom. Sabi ko, Hi! Lora Komusta ka na!
Sumagot sya, Hindi Kuya, ako si Ella! Sabay tawa sya.
Napagkamalan ko na sya si Lora kase magkamukha sila.
Only then I realized that my little cousin have grown into a very fine lady. She’s about 5’2, petite, maputi, at mahaba ang buhok. Kung noon ay pinapantasya ko ate nya, ngayon ay mas maganda pa sya kay ate Lora nya. So nag-kwentuhan kami at nagbonding nang gabing yun. She told me that she’s now a nursing student in Manila.
I was really impressed about her looks and figure. Baby face si Ella at yung mukha nya nung elementary pa sya ay hindi nagbago. Dalagita na sya ngayon (around 17 ). Matanda ako sakanya nang more than 10 years. We talked for hours, and I guess it was already dawn when we finished talking. She said that she wants to finished college so she could go to abroad too.
That morning, she has to go Manila since she has an early class. Hinatid ku pa sya sa may sakayan nang bus. And when she said goodbye, she gave me a hug and kissed me on my cheek. She was very sweet too, hindi na katulad noon na maliit pa sya na puro kapilyahan. I said goodbye and went home, and since that day, we texted each other every day. Ang saya ko talaga at ang feeling ko ay parang na-love at first sight.
I often go to manila and on one occasion, I was in Malate area. I texted her and I found out that she’s in the same mall. We met and had coffee, and again, I felt an extreme attraction to her. Pero hindi ako nagpahalata kese nga kuya nya ako. But, still I could not resist looking at her body. She was wearing Capri shorts, naka bra top camisole. On top of her spaghetti camisole ay white bottoned shirt na maiksi ang sleeve with 3 to 4 buttons sa harap. Bukas yung top button at nakalabas yung top portion nang maganda nyang chest. She doesn’t wear makeup and very innocent and face nya palagi. Since panatag na ang loob nya saakin, halus kung ano-ano ay kinukwentu nya. Of course one of the topic ay relationship, and she told me she never had any boyfriend yet. She asked me why I’m still single and I told her that, I still having fun being single. Natawa sya sa sinabi ko. She’s smart and she could figure out what I was saying.
“Siguru kuya Ricky, and dami mu nang nagging GF sa abroad no?
Napangiti ako at sabi ko. “Hindi naman, wala pa talaga kase akong nagugustuhan na mapangasawa eh”
“A ganon, siguru, puro “inaasawa” mu lang ang manga babae pero walang kasal2” Sabi ni Ella sabay napatawa lang sya. Nakitawa na rin ako, kase kahit pala paano, pilya pa rin si Ella.
Nang nag-hiwalay kami that day, niyakap nya ulit ako. I hugged her tightly and longer than usual. She embraced me tightly too before we separated. I looked her in her sweet innocent eyes. Automatically, I kissed her on her forehead. She smiled at me and before she turned around I was still holding her hand. I was very happy that day, and I’m sure that I was falling in love with my cousin.
When the semester ended in October, she was still in manila hanging out with her friends. It was Friday, and she texted me to meet her in the afternoon. She wanted to hang out with me before going to the province that night. We met again in Malate since she’s near that area. We went to a restaurant in Robinson’s Place and had dinner. I ordered beers for myself and I offered her if she want some too. Although we had more than one beer each, we both never got to the point that we were drunk or tipsy.
I was really enjoying her company for she was really gorgeous. Ang ganda pa nang out fit nya. She was wearing a simple, but very girly sandals. Naka-halter dress sya na may blue and white horizontal stripes at yung string nag halter dress ay yellow na naka tali naman sa batok nya. Naka short sleeve shirt ulit sya kaya kahit paano, hindi totally revealing ang suot nya. Simple, inosenteng college girl pa rin ang appearance nya. Over all, she’s pretty. Pasimpleng pinagmamasdan ko sya all the time.
Gusto kong pagmasdan sya nang husto kaya after I used the restroom to pee, I sat next to her. Grabe ang bango nang insan ko. As she leaned her head on my left shoulder, I placed my left arm around her, and smelled her hair. She was really comfortable with me as if she’s my girlfriend. We continued talking but more of a whisper. I kissed her forehead and held her a little closer to me.
Every now and then, I would talk to her with my mouth close to her right ear, and looking down to her chest. I could see the top of her small firm breast. Definitely, she noticed, but she did not reposition herself to cover. Lalung lumakas ang libog ko sa kanya. Panay panay pa rin ang amoy ko sa buhok nya at idinidikit ko na talaga ang nose ko sa head nya. Napalanghap ako at sabi ko ang bango mo talaga Ella. Ngumiti ulit sya at sabay inom ulit nang beer.
I asked her if she’s going home to the province that night, and she said that she’s already tired to take the trip. I asked her if she’s going back to her dorm, but she said that her roommates already left. I took her response as an opportunity to invite her to just stay with me.
So I asked, “If you want cousin, samahan na lang kita ngayon.”
Ella said, Sige kuya, saan tayo pupunta?
I did not answer her question and simply requested our bill. When we left the restaurant inside Robinson’s, I was feeling bold and held her hands. So para ku syang girlfriend na nung umalalis kami sa restaurant. I cannot really describe to all the readers kung paano ko binasa yung manga gusto at hindi nya gusto: instinct na lang ang sinundan ko.
I’ve been to a hotel near Robinson’s Place so we walked, and I took her there. She did not protest when we entered the lobby, so I proceeded to the counter and got us a room. When we were in the elevator, I hugged her tightly with my body pressing against her. I did not kiss her yet, since I was still trying to discern her mind. In the end, I told myself that as long she doesn’t complain or asked me to stop, I’ll continue and only stop my advances when she told me to so.