Below are the final chapters of my novel Enslaved Mind. This serves as closure to Monique and Raffy’s love story, hence, no erotic content involved.
CHAPTER 27
Doubt
“MOM!” Sigaw ni Eon habang patakbo itong lumapit sa kanya. Kararating lang nila ni Raffy mula sa Tagaytay. Nasa garahe pa ito ngayon at ibinababa ang kanilang gamit.
“Oh, my God! What happened to your skin?” Bulalas niya. ‘Di hamak na umitim kasi ito.
Pilyong ngumiti si Eon saka humalik sa kanyang pisngi. Napasulyap siya kay Raffy na ngayon ay naglalakad na patungo sa kanilang kinaroroonan.
“Yeah, my bad. I forgot to put sunblock on him,” he said. Tilting his head in a boyish manner.
Napapalatak siya sabay iling. Pero wala na siyang magagawa. Eon would eventually regain his true complexion. Ginusot niya ang buhok nito at pumasok na sila sa loob ng bahay.
“Stay for awhile, dito ka na mag-lunch,” anyaya niya kay Raffy. Alam niyang nakasunod ito sa kanila ni Eon.
He casually rested his hand at the small of her back. Ginawa niya ang lahat ng kanyang makakaya para lamang iwasan na mapapitlag.
“Ya?” Tawag niya kay Yaya Mercy. Hindi niya alam kung bakit pero bigla siyang nailang. Why would she behave like this. Nagka-anak na sila’t lahat, pero heto siya, nilulukob na naman ng kaba at agam-agam ang sistema.
Laking pasasalamat niya nang pumasok sa dining area si Yaya Mercy na may bitbit na tray ng ulam.
“Mabuti naman at nakauwi na kayo, hija,” anito habang inilalapag ang bawat putahe sa mesa. Nang tulungan niya ito ay napako ang tingin nito sa suot niyang engagement ring. Nagpalipat lipat ang tingin nito sa kanilang dala ni Raffy. Ginagap naman ng lalaki ang kanyang kamay at dinala iyon sa mga labi nito upang halikan.
“Salamat sa Diyos!” Bulalas ni Yaya Mercy. Maluha-luha pa ito habang yumayakap sa kanila ni Raffy.
Napaiyak na rin siya.
“O, s’ya, kumain na kayo, kanina pa kayo hinihintay ni Eon,” wika ng kanyang yaya habang pinupunasan ang mga luha sa pisngi.
Pumwesto si Raffy sa tabi niya sa kabila ng pag-aakalang uupo ito sa tabi ng anak. Si Eon naman ay nagsimula nang kumain. Aabutin niya na sana ang bowl ng kanin nang kunin iyon ni Raffy at ito na ang naglagay niyon sa kanyang plato.
“Dad, when are we going back to Subic?” Eon asked while munching on a chicken leg.
Raffy looked at her and held her hand.
“We’ll see, buddy. Do you wanna go back there or you want to go out of the country? Japan, perhaps?” Lumiwanag naman ang mukha ni Eon sa sinabing iyon ng ama. She sighed. He’s really spoiling their kid.
“But we still have to ask mom though. Where do you wanna go, babe?”
She just smiled. Napakaaga pa para magplano ng kung ano mang bakasyon.
“About Eon’s schooling,” untag ni Raffy. “I guess we can transfer him to an international school here in Manila. Either Brent or Reedley,” he added matter-of-factly.
She took a deep breath. Alam niyang may karapatan ito kay Eon pero parang naasiwa lang siya pinangungunahan siya nito sa ganoong bagay.
“We’re moving here for good?” Eon exclaimed.
She felt cornered and she doesn’t like it. Ano’ng sasabihin niya? Alangan namang tumanggi siya? Nakakainis lang na pinangungunahan siya ni Raffy. Oo, masasabing okay na sila. Pero napakabilis ng lahat.
She’s overthinking again. Over analyzing things. But she can’t help it. That’s how she is.
Tumikhim si Raffy at nagsalita.
“Your mom and I will discuss that first, son. For now, just finish your food,” anito sabay ngiti.
Matapos kumain ay dumiretso siya sa veranda. Nagkakasayahan ang mag ama sa living room at naglalaro ng PS4 Pro.
She took a deep breath. Ano bang nangyayari sa kanya? Bakit siya nagkakaganito? Kung kailan nagiging maayos na ang lahat, saka naman siya nagdadalawang isip.
Doubts filled her head. Perhaps she’s just anxious. Anxious of what lies ahead. Anxious of the idea that this is all just temporary. That, eventually, they’d end up like before.
“Hija, andito na sina Ma’am Consuelo.” Her yaya’s voice snapped her back from her deep thoughts.
Dali dali siyang bumaba upang salubungin ang kanyang mga magulang. Walang pagsidlan ang tuwa sa kanyang puso nang makitang masigla na ang kanyang ama. Agad siyang lumapit sa mga ito.
“I’m so glad you’re okay now, dad!” Aniya kapagkuwa’y niyakap ito nang mahigpit.
“And I’m so happy you’re finally home, anak.”
Napalingon naman ang kanyang ama kay Raffy nang lumapit ito at magmano. Ang akala niya talaga ay hindi magiging maganda ang reaksyon ng kanyang ama. Ngunit magiliw na inilahad nito ang kamay at saka ginulo ang buhok ni Eon.
After a few moments, her parents excused themselves. Magpapahinga raw muna ang mga ito. Lumapit naman sa kanya si Raffy. Tahimik lang itong nakaupo sa tabi niya.
“I’m sorry. I overstepped, I know, ” he said in a low voice.
Hindi siya umimik.
“Galit ka ba?” Tanong nito.
She bit her lip. Galit nga ba siya?
“YOU’RE playing with your food, babe.” Untag sa kanya ni Raffy.
She straightened her back. It was as if she was awoken from a dreading trance. She’s feeling nauseated. Her hands are cold and clammy and she can’t even move her feet.
Dahan dahan niyang inilapag ang kanyang hawak na tinidor. They’re having an intimate dinner at The Peninsula Manila. Pagsapit ng gabi ay sinundo siya nito. According to him, they’ll be spending the night together.
Mainam na rin siguro iyon. Mas makabubuti kung ngayon pa lang ay ayusin niya na ang lahat at masabi niya na rito ang lahat ng gumugulo sa kanyang isipan.
“Nique?”
She heaved a sigh.
“Is there something wrong?”
Take a deep breath, Monique… She told herself as she nervously toyed with her engagement ring beneath the table.
Umabot sa kanilang kinauupuan ang mabining musikang nagmumula sa bulwagan ng naturang hotel. Ilang saglit pa ay narinig niya na ang isang malamyos na tinig.
Sweet love yeah
I didn’t mean it when I said I didn’t love you so
I should have held on tight, I never should have let you go
I didn’t know nothing I was stupid
I was foolish, I was lying to myself
I couldn’t have fathomed I would ever be without your love
Never imagined I’d be sitting here beside myself
‘Cause I didn’t know you, ’cause I didn’t know me
But I thought I knew everything I never felt
The feeling that I’m feeling now that I don’t hear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
‘Cause I don’t have a choice
Or what I wouldn’t give to have you lying by my side
Right here
‘Cause baby…
Baby, when you left I lost a part of me
It’s still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
‘Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon’ lean on when times get rough?
Who’s going to talk to me on the phone ’til the sun comes up?
Who’s going to take your place? There ain’t nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together…
…I only think of you
It’s breaking my heart
I’m trying to keep it together but I’m falling apart
I’m feeling all out of my element
Throwing things crying trying to figure out
Where the hell I went wrong
Pain reflected in this song
Ain’t even half of what I’m feeling inside
I need you need you back in my life baby
Baby, when you left I lost a part of me
It’s still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
‘Cause we belong together
Who else am I gon’ lean on when times get rough?
Who’s going to talk to me on the phone ’til the sun comes up?
Who’s going to take your place? There ain’t nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together
Baby, when you left I lost a part of me
It’s still so hard to believe
Come back baby please
‘Cause we belong together
Who am I gon’ lean on when times get rough?
Who’s going to talk to me on the phone ’til the sun comes up?
Who’s going to take your place? There ain’t nobody better
Oh, baby baby, we belong together…
Hindi niya namalayang umiiyak na pala siya. As cheesy as it may sound, but that song hit her hard. Why? She was the one who left. She shouldn’t be feeling this way. And now, she’s leaving. Again.
“I can’t do this, Raff. I’m so sorry…”
CHAPTER 28 – END
Home
KITANG-KITA niya ang bakas ng lungkot at sakit sa mga mata ni Raffy. She gazed at his pressed lips, his clenched jaw. He did not utter any word.
“R-Raffy…” her voice broke.
“Raff—”
He stood up. Lumapit ito sa kanya at hinawakan ang kanyang braso. Naguguluhang napatingala siya.
“I’ll take you home,” he said in a flat voice. Masuyo ang pagkakahawak nito aa kanya. Walang ano mang bahid ng dahas. Naguguluhan siya kung bakit kalmado lang ito. Ang buong akala niya ay magagalit ito o magwawala.
“Raff, I said—”
“I know. I’ve heard what you said, Nique. Now, just please let me take you home.” Anito. There was a hint of sadness in his voice.
Iginiya siya nito papunta sa parking lot. Hindi pa rin siya mapakali. She wanted to explain everything to him. She wanted him to understand her side. Masusi niya iyong pinag-isipan. God knows how much thought she’d put into it. Iyon lamang ang alam niyang tama. Hindi niya kayang mamuhay kasama ito habang puno ng agam-agam ang kanyang puso.
Nang makasakay na sila sa kotse nito ay tahimik lang itong nagmaneho. Hindi niya magawang magsalita sa takot na baka kung ano ang gawin nito. Hindi niya matantiya kung ano ang dapat niyang sabihin. Vivid thoughts of his physical abuse crossed her mind. And that scared her. Mas lalong naging pinal ang desisyon niyang tuluyan nang lumayo rito. Napatawad niya na nang tuluyan si Raffy. Pero hindi niya maiwasang magbalik-tanaw sa nakaraan. Hindi niya yata kayang sumabak pang muli sa isang relasyong magdudulot lamang ng sakit at takot.
Matalinong bata si Eon. She’s hoping that one day, he’d fully understand why his parents can’t be together. Darating din ang panahong magkakapamilya na ito. At sana, sa panahong iyon, lubusan nang maiintindihan ni Eon kung bakit ganito ang kinahantungan ng relasyon ng mga magulang nito.
Back at Casa Ysabela, she thought that the life she wished for was finally at her grasp. Isang masayang buhay kasama ang mga pinakamamahal niya. But eventually, she has come to the realization that what happened between her and Raffy is beyond redemption. She still loves him. No doubt about that. She even believes that he’s the only man that could hold her heart.
Pero may mga bagay talaga na kahit na anong pilit natin ay hindi na mabubuo pang muli. Darating at darating at darating din sa puntong mapagtatanto mong ang realidad ay taliwas sa mga bagay na iyong inaasam.
Hindi niya na yata kayang pagdaanan pa ang sakit na dinanas niya noon. At lalong hindi niya kakayanin kung dumating man sa puntong masasaksihan ng kanyang anak ang ano mang posibleng gawin ng ama nito. Ayaw niyang madungisan ang perpektong imahe ni Raffy sa mga mata ng kanilang anak.
Napapikit siya. Marahil ay hindi maiintindihan ng mga magulang niya pati na rin ni Yaya Mercy ang kanyang desisyon. Pero buo na ang kanyang pasya.
As she opened her eyes, she felt relieved now that they’re entering their village entrance in Alabang. She badly needs her son’s tight hugs.
Pero sa halip na lumiko sa kalye papunta sa bahay ng kanyang mga magulang ay ibang daan ang tinatahak ni Raffy. He’s driving across an unfamiliar street. Natatandaan niya na noong bata pa siya, ang ang parteng ito ng village ay hindi pa okupado at wala pang mga itinatayong bahay.
They drove uphill. May nakita siyang malaking bahay sa elevated na parteng iyon ng village. Inihinto ni Raffy ang sasakyan. Lumigid ito sa passenger’s seat at pinagbuksan siya. Inalalayan siya nitong makababa at hinubad ang suot na coat at ipinatong iyon sa kanyang mga balikat.
She’s looking at a very beautiful house. It suits her taste. Unlike those modern houses which are usually found in exclusive subdivisions, this house exudes both celtic and mediterranean touch. Kahit na madilim ay naaaninag niya ang karangyaan at kagandahang taglay niyon.
Naramdaman niyang ipanagsalikop ni Raffy ang kanilang mga kamay. Huminga ito ng malalim at itinuon ang paningin sa kawalan.
“I’ve built this house five years ago, Nique.” Malungkot na wika nito. Hindi pa rin tumitingin sa kanya.
“I wanted to surprise you. I wanted us to live here after we get married. I w-wanted this to be our home…” gumaralgal ang boses nito. Mahigpit pa rin ang pagkakakapit sa kanyang kamay.
Hindi siya nakapagsalita. All she could do was shed her tears. Bakit ba kailangang maging napakasakit ng lahat?
“Eon would love it here…” patuloy nito sa basag na boses. “Knowing him, he’d surely enjoy the pool at the back.”
Hindi pa rin nito pinapakawalan ang kanyang kamay. Binuksan nito ang front door at bumungad sa kanila ang isang malawak na sala. Wala pang ni ano mang muwebles doon.
“I never hired an interior designer. That’s your forte. Alam kong magiging masaya ka sa pagde-decorate ng loob ng bahay,” anito. Nakangiti sa kabila ng lungkot.
He pulled her towards the kitchen. It was fully furnished. It’s filled with industrial-grade materials.
“Every time I look at this part of the house, I think of you. I remember how much you loved gourmet cooking.”
“Raff…” she whispered. She’s in awe.
“There are two rooms on the first floor. One master’s bedroom and one guest room. Anim naman sa taas. I figured, it would be best that way since we’re not sure how many kids we’d have.”
Kinabig siya nito paharap dito.
“This is not a bribe, Nique. I’ve built this years ago. I… I just wanted you to be h-home… I can’t live here alone, Nique. I can’t live here. Not without you and our son.”
Bumuhos ang kanyang luha. Napakapit siya rito. Tila nauubos ang kanyang lakas.
This is all freaking surreal. Everything’s both perfect and messed up. How ironic could life get?
Humugot siya ng malalim na hininga bago nagsalita.
“I love this, Raff. A-And God knows how much I love you. B-But let us not be consumed with all these…” she sobbed. “We shouldn’t be blinded with the idea of this perfect life that we’re about to build. K-Kasi alam nating pareho na in the long run, this would not work out…”
“Why? How could you say that?” His voice was laced with both anger and pain.
Hinawakan niya ang magkabilang pisngi nito.
“You have this notion that M-Michael…” umiiyak na turan niya. Nagka bikig sa kanyang lalamunan. Tila hindi niya masikmurang banggitin ang pangalang iyon.
“I’m afraid that you have this notion that he took advantage of me. Y-Yes, h-he did. But Raff… I still cheated on you. I had a choice, Raff. I had a choice either to go on or walk away. But I still chose to hurt you. And I don’t want you to think that I was not at fault. Yes, he took advantage of me the first time… sa pangalawang pagkakataon. Pero sa mga sumunod…” pumalahaw na siya ng iyak sa loob ng mga bisig nito.
“A-Ayokong mamuhay tayo sa ganoong…