Sorry for delayed updates. Medyo busy sa work lang, kaya hindi maayos ang updates. Hopefully before the week ends, matapos ko na ito. This could be the second to the last chapter. I will add an epilogue chapter, combined point of views. Thank you sa pag support at pagbabasa.
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Maaga akong nagising kinabukasan, it was only five in the morning. Tinitigan ko ang katabi ko, she was in fetus position facing me. Marahan kong hinawi ang buhok niya at iniipit iyon sa kanyang tenga at saka ako bumangon. I checked my phone at may mga messages ako, mostly inquiries about sa pre-sale ng condo. Meron ding message sa akin si Ari at kahapon pa ito.
“Kmsta? Hw was ur vacay?”
“I bet ur hvng ctch up w/ her.”
“Ay mkhang ngka2igihn n cla. Bltaan mo nlng me. Enjoy! :)”
Hindi na muna ako nag reply sa kanya. I was still having thoughts of why we were there, why we had done it. Kinuha ko ang board shorts ko at wallet ko at saka lumabas pagkabihis upang maglakad lakad sa dalampasigan. After an hour of walking, I felt hungry and I wanted a burger. At that time, wala pang Mcdo or any fast food chain sa area, so I have to contact pa sa capitol para makapag deliver.
I ordered quarter pounder and double cheese burger, di lang ako sure if yun padin ang gusto ni Lanz, but still I ordered it. After more than an hour ay dumating na ang inorder ko and I had to pick it up sa reception. Nag ikot ikot pa ako muna ako nagtingin tingin ng mga beach outfit, at binilhan ko ng cover up na dark si Lanz, yung parang fish net. Di ko alam ang tawag doon. Naisip ko lang na if we or she will walk sa shoreline, maigi nang ganun.
Pagbalik ko ng room, I saw Lanz was on the phone at bigla niyang binitawan yun at tumakbo papunta sa akin and hugged me tightly. I don’t know what was going on at that time. Napatawa nalang ako sa thought na baka iniwan ko siya or what not. And when I looked at her naka pout na siya at nangiti nalang ako.
“Hey, what’s up? Did anything happen?” hindi siya sumagot, instead lalong kumunot ang noo niya pero naka pout pa din. This woman, di ko alam kung nag aalala or nagpapa cute. So I raised my hand to show her na may bitbit ako.
“Nagpa deliver ako from McDo. Gusto ko kasi ng burger. I bought you your double cheese burger as well. With no pickles. I bought you some clothes na din. Well technically, they were just cover ups, mukha nga lang fish net.”
She took out yung mga bitbit ko at naupo sa kama. She checked out the cover ups, mukhang nagustuhan naman niya dahil nangingiti ngiti pa ito. Sabay na din kaming kumain at walang nag iimikan sa aming dalawa although I was staring at her while eating. Nangingiti nalang din ako as my reaction which pagtingin niya sa akin ay napataas na siya ng kilay niya. Kinuha ko nalang ang remote ng TV at nag browse ng mapapanuod.
“Do you have any plans for the day?” I asked after finishing my food.
“Um, gusto ko sanang pumunta sa ancestral house sa capitol. But having second thoughts din.”
“Why? We can drive. Para na din makabili tayo ng spare clothes.”
“Can we just buy clothes nalang then get back here? Or do you have any other plans?” I was thinking to just stay dito or maghanap ng makakainan but since siya naman ang nag aya, I’ll let her decide to whatever she wants to do.
“Nah, I don’t have naman. Okay, let’s drive to the capitol in an hour.” ang sagot ko sa kanya. Mas okay na din yun para makapamili na din kami ng mga damit namin since wala kaming mga baon.
Nauna na akong maligo sa kanya, kasi I needed to prep the car and cool it, dahil napakainit at that time. It was already lunch time when we arrived sa capitol so we took our lunch na muna. After lunch, we headed straight sa mall to buy our clothes, di ko na masyadong tinignan kung ano ang mga pinili niya, medyo may katagalan din talaga siyang mamili ng idadamit niya. I took a pair of shorts, one set of boxer underwear, isang jeans, at dalawang polo short. Habang naglalakad kami papuntang parking, she asked me if we can go to Paoay church in which okay lang naman sa akin.
“Liam, I can drive papuntang Paoay at pabalik ng hotel.” ang sabi niya sa akin, which nung una ay ayaw ko sana but I let her be.
Pagdating namin sa Paoay, nag lakad lakad kami paikot sa old roads at sa church. May mga bystanders doon na nag offer na kunan kami ng picture, napagkakamalan kaming mag boyfriend at mag girlfriend. I took most of the pictures din sa area, I even asked her to pose for me sa camera.
After sometime of strolling, bumalik na kami sa kotse at naupo muna sa hood ng kotse para makapag rest. I am super amazed of the church ever since and up until today. If there would be a chance to go there again, I will. I opened up our conversation.
“How long was this church standing again?” ang tanong ko out of nowhere.
“Uhm, I think almost or atleast three hundred years?”
“It is still so magnificent. It was able to maintain its grandeur.” Its sight is truly magnificent.
“Ahuh. It has withstood calamities, war and..time. If it is written as literature, it will be magnificent, a tale as old as time.”
I looked at her after she said it. It was as if nag flash sa harapan ko yung mukha niya from the Boracay days. She was staring at me as well, so I had to look away from her.
“What?” tanong niya sa akin.
“Nothing…” at nangiti nalang ako sa kanya. I remembered how she was when she is in her literary element. Para siyang poet who can make words lively whenever she speaks.
“What’s with the smile?”
“You are in your element.” sabi ko sa kanya. It was her turn to look away from me.
We stayed for another half hour and by five we decided to go back na sa resort. Along the way, nag kwnetuhan kami about historical places and bits, and she knows that that was my element. Pagdating namin sa resort, we headed straight sa restaurant to take our dinner. After eating, we walked by the shoreline, and as usual, marami padin ang umiikot ang leeg nang katitingin sa kanya. Some were amazed, some were jealous. May mga nag bonfire din doon, but instead we walked straight back to out room dahil may bitbit din kaming wine and champagne.
Nauna na siyang nag shower, at ako naman at that time started browsing TV. Maya maya pa ay lumabas na siya ng shower room, and damn this woman, kahit anong isuot, napaka sexy talaga. Bago pa ako may ibang maisip, I hit the cold shower to prevent unnecessary heat. Paglabas ko ng room, ay binati ako ng malamig na hangin, and saw that the sliding door was opened, likely nasa labas siya. Sumunod nalang din akong lumabas at nakita ko siyang nag sip ng champagne from her glass. I looked at her momentarily, she was staring at the shoreline.
“Drinking alone eh?”
“Join me.” ang sabi niya sa akin, I took a glass and poured wine. Napatingin ako sa shore line na din at nag vibrate ang phone ko. It was Ari, kinukumusta ako. I said okay lang, made a few updates of happenings at nag reply ito na ienjoy ko lang daw and I shouldn’t answer any messages for the meantime.
Wala paring nag iimikan sa amin, and I took a glance again at her at medyo seryoso ang mukha niya.
“Anything bothering you?”
“Huh? Wala naman.” ang sagot niya sa akin, without looking at me.
Another silence.
I don’t know what’s in her head. I wanted to ask kung bakit siya bumalik dito, why we were in this situation now. What are her plans, but then again the looping questions from last night came down in my head again. Fuck.
“Liam…” ang basag niya sa katahimikan.
“Hm? Ano yun?”
“Do you think, if I told you about my plans before, would you still pursue me?” I was shocked by her question. Why are you asking that now Lanz, why?
“I just want to know. Lagi ko din kasi tinatanong yun sa sarili ko and syempre, wala naman sasagot sa akin, and I don’t know what’s the answer to it.” I was just staring at her. Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. I want to carefully tailor my answers, dahil kahit na ganun ang nangyari sa amin, mahal ko padin talaga siya.
“Kung di ka naman comfortable sagutin, nevermind. Forget what I asked.” I looked at her, nalungkot ako bigla.
“Tulad nga ng sabi ko sayo kagabi, selfish din ako. If nalaman ko yun noon palang, I would not pursue you.”
“BUT… if you have told me na nung tayo na, di ko din alam ang sagot. I may pursue you to the end, pero alam ko na may mga hurdles tayong pagdadaanan. Like, we’d be in an LDR situation. Which I think, it may or may not work sa atin and pwedeng maghihiwalay lang din tayo.”
“Kaya ko nasabi na hindi mag work, is because we both know na may pagka clingy tayo, but only if nagmature tayo agad agad, I might work pero wala ring guarantee.”
“Why do you ask?” ang balik tanong ko sa kanya.
“I asked because, syempre I want to know if it will make any difference to our situation then and now.”
“…and? Do you think it will make any difference?” She looked at me as if she was caught off guard by my question.
There was silence.
“To answer you honestly, hindi ko alam.” I just drew a deep sigh with her response.
“Exactly. What you have right now are “what ifs” because you feel regret. If we remove regrets from the equation, will you still have “what ifs”?” these were true, this was what I felt at that time.
“Yes. What if I told you everything and whether we understood the situation or not, then maybe we would have pursued a different path than what we had.” seriously, sa loob loob ko. So possible naman pala itong option two years ago, but why did she not take it, why did she choose to break my heart, to tear us apart.
“You said last night, you loved me. Don’t you anymore, Liam?” ang tanong niya sa akin nang hindi ko siya sinagot.
“Lanz…”
“It’s okay if hindi na. To be honest, I am hoping that you still do.. But I fully understand the situation and where I should be.”
Yes.
I still loved her at that time.
Pero di ko masabi ng diretso sa kanya.
Why?
Is it still worth it?
Tumayo siya, and I know umiiyak siya. That was something that was so sad for me, to see her crying, especially in my presence. Nilapitan ko siya, gusto ko siyang yakapin and yet, parang may pumipigil sa akin.
“Lanz…”
“When you left saying nothing, I was a wreck. Thinking kung ano ba yung nagawa ko sayo na hindi mo nagustuhan at hindi ka na nagparamdam.” I know at that time, she needed to know what I have been through, at lalo siyang napaiyak.
“I shifted my attention to studying lang. I needed that to keep me sane at hindi ko pagdudahan ang sarili ko at capacity ko.”
“A year ago, dun palang ako nag start na maging okay. Kuya Dan helped me to get some freelance jobs as a real estate consultant while I am studying. I found out na may talent pala ako sa sales, and it only took me 2 months para maka benta ng property.”
“That time, nagkaroon ako ng client who was looking for a condominium that time. Her name is Ari. We became good friends after we closed the deal. Six months ago, we started going out, pero occasional lang. We don’t know yet kung ano ang deal namin, but safe to say that we are still friends.”
“Yes, I did say I loved you, but that doesn’t mean that I am in love with someone else. Yet.”
“I am not sure if I still love you right now or hindi na. When I saw you the other day, all the pain, bumalik lahat sa akin.” hindi ko na rin napigilan ang sarili ko, I was about to break down, reminding me of what happened.
She hugged me immediately, and tight. As if she was telling me that she was sorry and she’s there for me na at that time. At some point, I felt relief. I felt longingness. After some point ng iyakan, we sat down, she took my head so I could lean on her shoulders.
“Lanz…” ang tawag ko sa kanya.
“Hmm?”
“Did you really think na we could have taken a different route and we can strive the odds?” I asked her.
“Yes, I think so.” ang sagot niya sa akin. Napa buntong hininga nalang ako that time, thinking can it really work out that time.
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“Wala naman. Yun din ang iniisip ko noon, na maybe we could have tried working it out. There is a possibility of na maghiwalay tayo in the long run because of the distance and time difference.”
“Ayaw mo na ba akong ipursue? Ayaw mo ba akong sundan sa US? I know I sound self centered now, pero di ko pa afford na mag stay dito ulit because I am working with my residency there.”
“I will not ask you to din naman. And no you are not self centered, naiintindihan ko naman yun at alam ko yun. I am not sure within myself if gusto kitang i-pursue pa.”
“Is it because of her?”
“No. I told you, we are not in that stage yet. But she knows na andito ka, nagkita tayo at magkasama tayo ngayon.”
“Reason why you were busy with your phone, right?” with her tone, para siyang nag seselos. Yes, I was happy last time, her confirming na wala siyang ibang naka relasyon habang nasa US siya.
“Not really, partly my freelance gigs. But I am also applying na din sa mga firm so I can get a proper job.”
“I still love you Lanz. That’s the truth. Pero hindi ko alam kung saan tayo papunta. I can no longer promise you the things I did for you before.”
There, I said it. Although, I was so skeptic padin at that time if things will work out the second time. Marami na ang nabago, we were racing back then for our future, we skipped the part wherein we should be planning out for our future.
“Lanz, give me some time to think about it. About us, hindi ako maka commit, not because of another person, but I want to know how this will turn out.”
“No worries, I agree with you naman din.” bahagya siyang nag smile sa sinabi ko sa kanya. Maybe, it gave her hope. For us.
“Are we still atleast friends?”
“Can we still be friends?”
Natawa nalang kami after dahil sabay namin iyon nasabi. I held her hand, tinitigan, naisip ko, by that time, it was supposed to be the time where I could have proposed with her, at may engagement ring na siya. That was in my imagination. When I looked at her, she was smiling, it was warming. Nginitian ko din siya.
“Kailan ka babalik ng US?”
“After two weeks pa naman. Can we.. Can we still go on a date before I go back sa US?”
“Are you sure about it Lanz?” my worry was that it was a short span of time. Will it really work for her?
“Is that okay with you?”
“I am okay with it, ikaw lang ang winoworry…”
Di ko pa natatapos ang sinasabi ko when she kissed me.
“..ko. I guess we can go on.” that answers my question. I guess, there is nothing to worry about.
I kissed her back, torridly. We were kissing hotly, passionately. We sucked each other’s tongue. I was caught under her spell yet again. It felt good.
Pinaupo ko siya sa lap ko, paharap sa akin and continued kissing. Atleast, I wanted that night to be memorable for us. I want her. I want the whole of her.
She started to grind on my lap, at unti unti din akong tinitigasan sa ginagawa niya, it was slow, pero madiin, making sure that I will feel her pussy. I started na lamasin din ang mga suso niya kahit pa natatakpan pa ito ng kanyang bikini top at shirt.
I used my left hand to caress her right legs papunta sa butt niya then pabalik sa inner legs niya. I love doing this to her ever since, dahil ito ang sensitive part niya at talagang nakakapag pa horny sa kanya. Iniayos niya ang sarili niya sa pagkakaupo so that my hard cock would be sandwiched by her pussy slit. Nag start na din siyang mag dry hump which made my cock even harder.
Hinawakan ko ang butt niya at saka ko siya kinarga habang patayo ako, without stopping our kiss, iniyakap niya ang legs niya sa beywang ko. We moved papasok sa loob ng room namin. I laid her down sa bed at tinaas ko ang legs niya so that I can remove her shorts at saka ko agad sinunod ang shirt niya. I looked at her, and damn she really was a goddess. I removed all of my clothes and underwear, at nakita ko pa siyang mag bite ng lower lip niya when I completely removed my clothes. She removed her bikini undies and rolled her bikini bra down. I sat on the bed, on her left side, pulled her up para bumangon. Pinatayo ko siya at iniupo muli sa lap ko, nakatalikod siya sa akin. Ang perfect padin ng likod niya, makinis, ang sarap dilaan.
I slowly spread her legs, isinampay niya ang braso niya sa akin. She faced me and kissed me and caressed my face. It was a hot yet warm kiss. I put my left hand sa ibabaw ng pussy niya
“Uhhmmmppp” she could only moan while kissing me, because I started to feel her clit, and rubbed it in circular motion with pressure.
“Uuuummmmmm” kinalabit ng pinky finger ko ang clit niya when slid my hand sa hiwa ng pussy niya. It was wet already.
She started to suck my tongue when my right hand reached for her right breast and mashed it. Hindi niya alam kung anong galaw ang gagawin niya, she wanted to arch her back but the sensation I gave her, napapagiling nalang siya. Maya maya pa, I stopped kissing her and reached for her left boobs and started sucking it. She was so delicious, I really can’t get enough of her. Hindi na siya nakatiis, she arched her back nang pagsabay sabayin ko ang pagsipsip sa left nips niya, mashing of her right breast and playing her clit.
“Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh” her long moan when I started to insert two fingers in her wet pussy and slowly finger fucked her.
“Aaaahhhhhh aaaahhhhhh oooohhhhhhhhhh” lalo siyang napa moan at nasabunutan pa niya ako when I changed my phase, binilisan ko ang pag finger fuck sa kanya at sinimulan ko muling sipsipin ang nips niyang matigas. Her sight of ecstasy was so delightful, that made me happy.
“L-Liam, can I cum in your mouth?” ang sabi niya sa akin. Napangiti ako sa gusto niyang mangyari.
Pinatayo ko siya and I immediately lied down in bed, malapit sa headboard. I motioned to her to sit on my face, ito ang gustong gusto kong position whenever I want to eat her endlessly or ng mas matagal. Napa angat pa siya nang dumampi ang dila ko sa pussy lips niya na basang basa. I immediately grabbed her butt, and continued to lick her pussy lips. Napahawak siya sa headboard and she cupped her right breast at nilamutak niya.
“Uuuuhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm” she was moaning hard when I started to insert my tongue inside her wet pussy.
“Oooooohhhhhhhh fffuuuuucccckkkkkk” I gropped her butt para hindi siya maglililikot, because I want to concentrate licking her clit and tongue fucking her alternately.
“Aahhh aaahhh aaahhhh aaaahhhhh uuummmm uuummmmm” she started to humped her pussy sa bibig ko, and I felt her shiver, she came on my mouth.
Kahit hiningingal pa siya, she changed position, we did 69 position naman, she sucked my hard cock while I was licking her wet pussy lips and her butthole. It was as if competition, kung sino ang unang labasan sa amin. Di rin naman nag tagal I tapped her butt for her to stop.
“Lanz, can you go on your fours?” ang sabi ko sa kanya, I really love this position. Before she moved up, she sucked my cock one more time and left saliva on its head. Umalis siya sa ibabaw ko at dumapa sa may paanan ko. She spread my legs, nakatukod ang elbows niya and, arched her back.
“Fuck Lanz, that’s the perfect position.” fuck, she really knows how to intensify my horniness that night, she looked at me, she licked my lips and bit it afterward.
“Aaaahhhhhh d-don’t..tease me Liam.” I wanted to punish her for teasing me earlier. I rubbed my cock’s head on her pussy lips up and down. She pushed herself backwards, telling me to fuck her right there and then.
I slowly inserted my hard cock inside her wet pussy. Sobrang sarap niya talaga, at di ko na natiis na hawakan ang balakang niya at sinagad ko na ang pagpasok sa pussy niya. Madulas and yet, so tight. I started to thrust slowly. She buried her face in bed, and moaned.
“Shit aaaahhhhh Laannzzz your pussy feels great. Ang sarap, so tight.”
“Fuck me Liam!”
“Yes I will fuck you Lanz. Take my cock.”
“Aaaahhhhhh oooooohhhhhh ssshhhiiiittttt”
I continued fucking her in slow rhythm. I felt she came twice in that position dahil twice siya nag shiver, I can feel the wetness and her warm juice covering my cock. I pulled out my cock at pinahiga ko siya sa kama. I kissed her again, while rubbing my cock to her wet pussy slit at dahan dahan ko siya muling pinasok. I fucked her fast and harder.
“Aaaaahhhhhhhh shhiiiittt ssshhhiiiiittt ffffuccck fuck sshhhiiittt fffuuuccckkkk”
“Uhm uhm uhm uhm sarap Lanz!”
“Y-yes y-yes more more more Liam oh shit!”
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck harder Liam, faster!”
“Fuck me aaaahhhhh fuck me ooohhhhh sshhhiiitttt”
“Yes Lanz, I want to fuck you more.”
“Y-yes p-please f-fuck me! M-more more! Aaahhhhh ssshhhiiiitttttt ang sarap fuck meeee!”
It was a pleasure to watch her breasts bounce. It was as if I was hypnotized, I sucked and licked it alternately. Sarap na sarap ako sa pagkantot sa kanya that night. If only we could stop time, I would. She embraced her legs to my waist, which gave me access to the deeper depth of her pussy. I can feel her juices on my balls whenever na tatama iyon sa bandang butthole niya.
“L-Lanz I’m cumming. I can’t take it anymore. You are so fucking delicious.”
“Fill me in Liam, cum inside meeeee aaaahhhhhhhh sabay tayo!”
I came immediately after telling me to fill her in. I can feel our juices overflowing. We were panting after that time. Our eyes locked, I looked at her and I felt all of her passion and love, her tears fell on her cheeks.
“Liam, I love you. I really do…”
“Sana tayo nalang ulit.” I don’t know what to say, but it was warm, it made me smile.
“I know Lanz. You will not do this if you don’t love me.” yun lang ang naging sagot ko sa kanya at hinalikan ko siya muli. I made sure that that kiss was full of care and love.
We lied down in bed, at niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit habang nakasubsob ang mukha ko sa cleavage niya, at yumakap din siya sa akin. I know, after this night, I will need to decide.
“I love you Liam. So much.” akala niya siguro ay nakatulog na ako. My eyes were shut but my mind was still awake and wandering.
I pretended to be asleep, until I felt that she was asleep, mukhang napagod siya sa ginawa namin. At that time, I was really thinking hard. Should I give our relationship, us, another try. Iniisip ko, on the other hand, wala naman magiging pinagkaiba. We will still be apart and we have grown apart for the last two years. Are we just really igniting a what if from two years ago? Yan ang naiisip ko that time. I was having a push and pull on our situation.
I needed some time to decide. Sinabi naman niya na this time, she will let me decide. Oo, may kasalanan siya. Partly, it was my fault as well, dahil that time, alam ko naman na kulang din ang effort ko. I was too immature to handle it. Tumayo ako sa pagkakahiga and thought about it all night long. We still have a week to two to come up with a conclusion.