– – – –
Nagising ako, madilim pa. I think it was only four in the morning. I decided na bumangon at pumunta ng shower room, I am still naked. Pagbalik ko sa kama, Lanz was facing to her left, meaning, di siya halos gumalaw ng ayos from the moment she hugged me bago siya nakatulog. I can see her peaceful face, sleeping through the moon’s illumination. Ang ganda padin talaga niya. Minsan napapaisip din talaga ako if bagay ba talaga kami from two years ago. Papasa siyang model or pang pageant.
My gaze slowly went through her neck, arms and breasts. Her left leg was in crossing position, at napansin ko na nakalitaw ang umbok ng pussy niya. I took a towel, binasa iyon at pinunasan. Nang makabalik akong muli, di ko na natiis, I positioned myself sa bed, and licked her pussy slit up and down, slowly. No reaction from her. I tried moving her, para mahiga siya, I tried lifting her left leg paangat so I can have better access sa pussy niya.
I kissed her left leg inner thigh, paangat sa kanyang singit. I did the same with her right leg. After doing so, I licked her pussy slit, slowly from bottom to up. I did it twice before licking her clit. After a few strokes, I felt that her pussy started getting wet. I reached her right nips and rolled it until manigas yun. I pinched it when I felt na naninigas na.
“Uhhhmmmmmmm” I heard her soft moaning, at nang mapatingin ako, she was already looking at me.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I felt the urge to lick your beautiful pussy, Lanz.”
“J-just g-go on Liaaaaaahhhhhhhhh” hindi na niya natapos ang sasabihin niya nang magpakawala siya muli ng ungol.
I continued licking her wet pussy when she reached for my head and pinaaangat niya ako. I obliged, when our faces met, she kissed me hotly. She even licked around my lips.
“Li-Liam, Honey…”
“Hmm?”
“Can you please fuck me from behind. Let’s do the spoon position please.” ang pakiusap niya sa akin. I smiled and we kissed again.
I positioned myself on her left at tumalikod na siya sa akin, at iniusli pa niya ang butt niya. I rubbed her butt cheek, ang kinis talaga. She reached for my hard cock, and rubbed it on her wet pussy. Maya maya pa ay pinasok ko na siya.
“Aaaaahhhhhhhhh sssoooo ggoooodddd Liiaaahhhhmmm.”
“Yes aaahhhhh ang init sa loob mo, ang sarap.”
Binabad ko muna ang alaga ko sa basang pussy niya at di muna ako gumalaw. I kissed her nape at nilamas lamas ang suso niya. Para siyang pusa na naglalampong.
“Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh” ang halinghing ungol niya at napasandal pa siya sa likod ko when I started to thrust slowly.
I fucked her slowly, as if ayoko munang matapos kami, because I really don’t know that time, kung baka last time na yun. As much as possible, gusto kong namnamin siya. Matagal kaming nag fuck sa ganung position until we came.
“Wag mo muna hugutin Liam, please.” ang sabi niya after ko masaid ang cum ko sa loob niya.
“Okay. Ang sarap ng ganito Lanz.” at saka niya ako hinalikan.
Nakatulog kami na nakapasok ang cock ko sa wet pussy niya.
Late na kami nagising, and I took a shower first. After ko makabihis ay dumiretso na ako sa kotse bitbit ang ibang gamit na namin, at buti nalang wala kaming masyadong dala. Pinaandar ko muna ang kotse para lumamig sa loob. I parked the car sa valet parking at muling pumasok sa loob para antayin si Lanz. Upon seeing her, napangiti ako, she’s beautiful. She was wearing short shorts, crop top. I stretched out my hand and held her hand palabas ng resort.
Late night na kami nakabalik ng Manila, at matagal din ang byahe namin. Marami rami kaming napag usapan habang nasa daan, mas open ang communication namin. Masarap padin siyang kakwentuhan, sobrang intellectual. Beauty, brains and body. Deadly combination ito and something to fear.
Kinabukasan, pagka uwi namin ay pinuntahan ko na yung firm na inapplyan ko months ago, and was so happy na natanggap ako. Agad ko itong sinabi kay Lanz, at ganun din kay Ari. For the next few days that week ay healthy ang communication namin ni Lanz. We’d text each other and call. Parang katulad ng dati. Aaminin ko that time na namiss ko yung ganung moments naming dalawa. Within those days na magkausap kami ay gini gauge ko ang sarili ko din. Pinili ko talagang hindi muna makipagkita sa kanya to check kung bang uubra nga ba na mag work.
I realized na we really have grown apart, in actuality that time, hindi rin issue kung magkausap kami or hindi. Kung magkita kami or hindi. That only meant na hindi pa ako ready sa ganung klase ng relationship, kahit na mahal ko padin siya. I even asked Ari to meet me, para kunin ang opinion niya. Nagkita kami sa Greenbelt para mag lunch.
“So, kumusta naman ang naging lakad niyo?”
“Okay naman din. I mean, sakto lang.”
“Kwento ka naman sakin.”
Kinuwento ko lahat ng nangyari simula nung get together namin at yung naging bakasyon namin. I even told her about our escapades. No holds barred, and I trust her na maiintindihan niya kami pareho.
“So she wants to work it out this time, pero ikaw ang gusto niya mag decide padin. Tama ba?”
“Ganun na nga.”
“And what do you think about it?”
“To be honest, I think, we were only clinging sa past namin. We just wanted to correct what could have been.”
“Okay. Mahal mo padin siya. Yun ang alam ko. Was it not enough?” napaisip ako muli doon, and the looping questions that I had, bumalik lahat.
“You are thinking na kung bang worth it pa ba na itry?” ang tanong niya ulit sa akin. Napatingin nalang ako sa kanya.
“Now I know your worries. Natatakot ka at hindi ka ready kung ano ang kahihinatnan if you will try it again.”
“Liam, may mga bagay na hindi kayang ma outweigh ng love. But everything is worth it, especially kung willing kayo parehas.”
“Naging segurista ka na ngayon. Yun ang nakikita ko. If sinasabi niya sayo na she will help you na makapunta ka ng US, that’s good. So ano ang pumipigil sayo this time?” muli akong napatingin sa kanya. Not sure kung ano nga ba talaga.
“Liam, do you love her?”
“Oo, mahal ko padin siya.”
“Mahal na mahal mo?” I was taken aback, I have to check. Do I?
“Haist. You don’t love her the way you loved her before. You really have grown apart Liam. Nalungkot ako bigla.”
Siya na ang sumagot sa akin. I have confirmed to myself as well, what we have now is just a memento of what we used to. We were no longer the Liam and Lanz of the past. We do really have grown apart.
“You love her, hindi mawawala yan kahit na mag asawa ka na. She will always have a special place in your heart, Liam.”
“It’s okay Liam. Wag mong pilitin just because ayaw mo siyang masaktan. I know she will understand your decision. She loves you.” ang nakingiting turan sa akin ni Ari at hinawakan ang mga kamay ko. I was calmed down by her words.
I know what to do. Naglakad lakad pa kami after namin mag lunch ni Ari sa Greenbelt. Naisip kong imeet si Lanz ng kinagabihan. I checked my phone and saw her missed calls and messages. Nalungkot ako muli, that time, my decision was completed. I know it is gonna be another heartbreak for us, pero kailangan naming pagdaanan.
I called Lanz that night. Hindi niya ako sinasagot, naisip ko tulog na siya until she picked up my call and told her na nasa labas ako ng bahay nila. Maya maya pa ay lumabas na siya at nakapantulog na nga siya.
“Hi.”
“H-hey, Liam.”
“Are you asleep, did I disturb you?”
“Not yet, but I am about to sleep na din. Why are you here, let’s go inside.”
“Lanz, can we talk? Now?” hindi ko siya matitigan ng diretso.
“S-sure. Do you prefer na dito tayo mag usap?” ang tanong niya sa akin. Hindi rin ako sigurado, but may be, it would be best to talk about it kung san nagsimula ang pagmamahalan namin.
“Can we…go…somewhere else?”
“H-huh? Where? I mean at this time of the day? It’s already ten…”
“Uhm, yeah you are right, balik nalang ako bukas I guess.”
“N-no, wait for me. I’ll just change clothes. Are you sure, ayaw mo pumasok?”
“I’m fine.”
Dali dali siyang pumasok at nagpalit ng damit. We drove pa Antipolo that night, and it was eerily silent sa loob ng car. We stopped sa Cloud9, we look for a spot na medyo kaunti lang ang nakapark, and we were able to see one at doon na nag park. It took us ten minutes sa loob ng kotse bago ako naunang bumaba. Maya maya pa ay lumabas na din siya, at tinabihan ako sa hood ng kotse.
“Do you still remember?” ang tanong ko sa kanya.
“This place? Of course. This is where you asked me if you can date me.”
I drew a deep sigh, hinaplos niya ang braso, na parang inaalo niya ako. I felt like may idea na siya of what will happen tonight.
“It’s okay Liam. Everything will be okay from here on.”
“Why are you telling me this Lanz?” she was smiling. It was as if telling me, okay na.
“I… Be honest with me, what did you feel during those days na magkasama tayo?”
I looked at her eyes, the very eyes I had locked and looked for the longest time. I don’t know what I was looking for.
“I told you, the first time I saw you again, it was all just pain because it all came back to me. But at the same time, I wanted to hug you and never let you go.”
“Our trip to Ilocos was something, but it was no longer how it used to be. Maybe because we have grown apart. We became intimate. Deep down, I was happy that I was given the chance to be with you again.”
“But at the same time, it was as if we were just clinging into our past. Our tragic past.”
“How about Ari, how do you feel about her?” napatigil ako sa tanong niya. Si Ari.
“Ari? I told you, we are not on that stage yet, and I think there is no progress. I think she sees me as her good friend as well.”
“I saw you earlier sa Greenbelt. I felt jealous, but at the same time, I saw how you laughed with her. I have not seen you laugh the way you did earlier.”
So nakita niya pala kami. Wala akong maisagot, dahil wala naman akong i co-confirm sa kanya.
“Look, I told you na I’d fight for you, for us. I want to win you back. Pero ayokong napipilitan ka lang. I want you to decide it, I want your heart to decide it. If I am still worthy of your love or hindi na. Whatever your decision, tatanggapin ko yun. I will always respect that. And because I love you.”
I guess that was a fitting end for us. That time, it was a true ending. A closure. I think that was something that we were looking for, a closure.
“There is no way that I can break your heart, Lanz. I still love you. I still love you so much. Pero I think, it is not enough for us to move forward. Marami nang nagbago. We are now fighting against our future.”
Her tears fell on her cheeks ng mabilis at sunod sunod. She invited me to come near her. Nagiiyakan kaming dalawa that time while hugging each other.
“Maybe not this time, Lanz. I want us to pursue kung anong meron tayo ngayon, your future and my future. What I can promise you now, no matter what, I will look for you. I will definitely find you.”
“I will hold on to what you have said, that we are still friends, in spite and despite. I know, hindi agad agad mangyayari na magiging okay tayo as friends, but believe me, when that time comes, when we meet again, we can try starting all over.”
That was the last time we saw each other bago siya bumalik ng US. I was thinking at that time, that it was a consensus, silent agreement na hindi na kami magkita. Nabalitaan ko nalang kay ate Denise na lumipad na si Lanz pabalik ng US. I fixed myself and started to work as an IT sa firm na tumanggap sa akin. Nag focus ako doon, binuhos ko lahat ng oras at attention ko sa pagta trabaho. After sometime, nakatanggap ako ng email mula kay Lanz, attached was her photo of being a professor sa isang university sa New York. Masaya ako sa nakita kong progress niya. Nagpadala din ako ng photo email sa kanya at sumagot din siya. After nun, I deleted my email. Yes, I broke any communications that we might have. Hindi rin ako nakikibalita about her.
After three years of working sa Pilipinas, I was sent as a delegation ng company namin sa Singapore at Japan. At that time, masaya ako sa choices ko sa buhay, although from time to time, na mimiss at naiisip ko si Lanz, pero hindi na yung masasakit na memories ang naaalala ko sa kanya, at tuwing mamimiss at naaalala ko siya ay nangingiti nalang ako at masaya ang pakiramdam ko.
Five years after our formal break up, napermanent na ako sa Japan at doon ko na meet ang wife kong si Sayuri. Masayahing tao si Sayuri, at hindi siya yung conventional Japanese, walang naging cultural barrier sa amin at magaling siyang mag english dahil nag aral at nag work siya sa LA. Si Ari naman ay ikinasal na din sa kanyang naging boyfriend two years ago. Nope, I did not pursue Ari, magkaibigan lang talaga kami, walang kahit anong romantic feelings ang nag manifest sa amin.
On that same year, muli kaming nagkita ni Lanz, nauna akong bumalik ng Pilipinas. Nang magkita kaming muli, I said na wala na nga talaga. We finally moved forward. We shared the memories, na parang history class nalang at masaya naman kami.
“It’s been a while Lanz.” ang sabi ko habang nasa isang sikat na kapihan kami.
“Yeah, and I am happy to see you again Liam.”
Marami kaming napagkwentuhan, it was a catch up. Kinuwento niya sakin about kay Drew at biniro niya pa ako about me being single. Naging honest naman din ako sa kanya na, before meeting Sayuri, from time to time naaalala ko padin siya at namimiss. Pero sabi ko nga, puro nalang good memories at masaya ako kung asan kami that time. No bitterness nor regret.
Before my flight back to Japan, nagkita pa kaming muli and congratulated her for her upcoming wedding. Pagbalik ko ng Kyoto, una akong nakipag kita kay Sayuri and asked her if we can go on dates, which she gladly accepted.
We dated for more than two years, bago kami ikinasal. Umuwi kami ng Pilipinas dahil uuwi din daw si Lanz, and they planned a get together. From there, nagkita kami at nagkakilanlan kami ng asawa niya at ganun si Sayuri. Instantly, they became good friends, ganun din kami ni Drew because we are both ITs, meron common interests.
Nasundan pa ang meet up namin when they visited Japan. At that time, may isang anak na kami ni Sayuri. Minsan naitatanong sa akin ng asawa ko kung bang paano kaya kung hindi kami nagkahiwalay ni Lanz, which ang lagi ko din namang sinasabi ko sa kanya na hindi ko rin alam kung saan kami papunta, or kung ano kami ngayon, nonetheless, sobrang happy ako sa kung anong meron ako kasama siya at ang anak namin, at kuntento na ako dun. I am happy to promise her my life and my future with them.
Yes, we could have tried working it out before, but you cannot simply go to any war and win it. You have to choose your battle wisely to save something precious. Lanz will forever be part of my life, and I am thankful na nagkakilala kami, and shared wonderful and painful memories which molded us into who we are now.
END.
– – – –
Five years passed from the last time they saw each other. They have moved on from each other, but it seems that there will always be a remnant of the love they shared.
Lanz found a partner through Drew and was planning to get married. Before they got married, she really wanted to see Liam, atleast even once.
On the other hand, Liam was absorbed by the company and stayed in Kyoto Japan. There he met his wife, though at that time, they were still not dating yet. He filed for a two week vacation at that time para makauwi ng Pilipinas at na approve naman yun since hindi pa siya nagtake ng vacation ever since na nalipat siya ng Japan. He booked his flight at nakarating sa Manila ng gabi. Ari and her husband fetched him sa NAIA 2 at dumiretso ito sa isang hotel kung saan siya nag check in.
As for Lanz, nagpaalam siya na gusto niya munang umuwi ng Pilipinas to spend some time with her friends before she become Mrs. Drew. At that time, nakapag plan na ng get together ang barkada sa Pilipinas and that time, all of them informed na kauuwi lang ni Liam ng Pilipinas. Na excite siya sa thought na muli silang magkikita. It has been five years nung huli silang nagka usap at nagkita. She was thinking if ano na kaya ang lagay ng lalaking lubos niyang minahal.