So there i was struggling real hard to keep up in life – to go back with my old self na wala pang X sa buhay ko – and it’s fucking hard. I refused to talk to ppl in my circle. Kasi paulit-ulit nalang yung naririnig ko and i was so tired hearing words like “you deserve someone better” and “you gotta move on there’s a brighter future ahead of you” when for me is siya na yung BEST and I already planned my future with him. I was so damn broke into pieces for real. Hindi ko alam paano magsisimula ulit. I know you all know how it feels, i bet lahat naman tayo dumaan sa ganyan..
One night, dahil nga pandemic sobrang boring, and ayokong kausap mga kakilala ko na sobrang fragile ng mga tingin sa akin, i looked for an app — chatting app to be exact. Or what other ppl call it, dating app? WATEVZ. AND NO I DIDN’T GO FOR TINDER. Haha! So ayun, i browse this app. And find it boring at first. But yeah ppl are welcoming, very. It was international chatting app btw, you’ll get to know ppl from around the world. Met pinays there too, and you’ll be surprised. LOL.
I browsed the featured chat rooms and met ppl, – in the app, you drop pictures and you’ll get gifts from generous gifters. Those gifts gives you app currency that you can use to buy stuffs for your avatar, can upgrade or dress up your avi, and buy your avi’s stix.. Avatars there are anima*s, cute anima*s, haha. Was a cool app, ngl. So ayun, i once dropped selfie then my inbox flooded, syempre bago lang ako sa app so i replied almost everyone on pms, then sooner narealized ko di pala dapat coz there are trolls in that app.. Meron pa bigla nalang nagsesend ng picture ng tite or videos na nagjajakol mga ganun..
THEN there is this one old men in there na libog na libog sakin pero mabait naman, he was just too honest to tell me and he helped me understand the app. He eventually invited me into his “private” room which i joined ofcourse. I was so shocked kasi sa mga private rooms pala was like online prostitution, yung iba lang ha, kasi nagda-drop ng nudes then reregaluhan naman ng mga mayayaman na user ng app. I was like, “WOW! makakaipon kaagad ng karma pag maraming gift, i should try it.” KARMA is the app currency btw. So i did. I took sexy photos of mine, and drop in private rooms, i drop drop and drop a lot. I did nude photos as well the time na nalaman kong may bago na jowa si X. LMAO. shame on me, yeah. Pero wag kayo, pinakamayaman sa app na yun is Pinay, she’s holding 15M KARMA. She’s selling pussy pic daw kasi sabi nila, not sure tho. I dont have proof ee. Haha. I mean like, imagine having 15M KARMA, not even a real money — for your nudes — PATHETIC. I remember myself saying “don’t gift me for my nudes, it’s just for fun, i don’t like the feeling of being paid for it.” LMAO! ppl there will praise you for your drops, telling you good things that’ll boost up your confidence even more and I was on high.. Ang sakit sakit kasi malaman na may bago na jowa X mo, eh alam mo sa sarili mong maganda ka, tapos sexy ka pa. Ykwim? Ah basta ganun yung feeling ko nun kaya i was whoring so bad and thought it was fun.. Now what i only wanna tell myself everytime i remember those days is “fu** you BITCH”. Anyways, sabi ko nga, tao lang din ako.. Nagkakamali din — ng madaming beses. HAHAHA!
Life in that app was cool, i get to forget my problems for a while.. Also i had a fling there. LOL. He was fucking HOT. and a good hypnotize…