Pero nandun nga din yung feeling na having a crush na katulad noong teenager pa tayo. Kase after having a girlfriend, getting married, tapus hiwalayan, girlfriends ulit, hiwalay, then after a couple of years ay dumating na din ako sa point na hindi ko na nafefeel yung nagkakaroon ng infatuation on other or women. Of course, syempre naman, when I see a pretty girl or woman ay na-aappreciate ko pa din yung beauty or yung likas na kagandahan nila. Pero syempre, hindi na katulad nung high school or elementary na palaging nasa-isip natin yung mga crush natin, maski hindi nila tayo ini-isip nila.
But lately, spending time with my daughter and watching her grow and develop throughout the years, I became attracted to her. Kaya yung fatherly love ko sa kanya ay nadagdagan na nga ng infatuation.
It is an overwhelming feelings pero I don’t regret it and never will.
I even nurtured it kase I feel that I’m more alive and more conscious of my existence. Parang yung nafe-feel ko talaga nung high school and even late grade school.
I love everything about my daughter’s face. All her features are equally attractive but her lips are that I admire the most. I told her not to wear any lipstick because her lips’ natural color is gorgeous. I’m glad that she followed my advice and she only wears lipstick on certain occasions. I could not really help myself and often I would stare at her lips when we talk. I am sure that she has been noticing my stares but I guess she is not uncomfortable. She seems fine also whenever I kiss her on the lips.
I take my daughter to school, giving her a ride, dahil malapit sa work ko ang school niya. She stays with me then she stays sa mother niya, alternately. Her mother and I fell out of love and it was really for the best naman. I love her mom but, I am no longer “in love” with her and not in love with any other woman at this time. Now, the only girl that I love the most is my daughter and I am content with my life having her with me. I want to savor our companionship dahil someday, she will get married and have her own family. She will be gone from my house eventually, so I tried to enjoy our time together.
Whenever I will drop off my daughter at school, we have this routinary kiss to say our goodbyes. When she was younger, I would kiss her cheeks or forehead. But after a few years, I started to kiss her on the lips.
Just our lips.
It started when I rounded my lips and protrude them to ask for a kiss. She kissed me on the lips kaya since then, our kisses are always on the lips.
It is my favorite part of the day when I drive her to school. She just had her shower, so she’s really smelling so good. I love her after-shower smell so much. Before she steps out of the car, she would face me, lean towards me at sasalubungin ku yung mouth niya at sabay halik sa kanya. Tapos pasok na siya sa school. Nakakabaliw talaga siya sa umaga dahil sa ganda at bango niya.
After school naman, favorite ko din kase she will kiss me upon seating on the passenger seat. Then we would talk about our days. Sometimes, we eat outside if there is something special to celebrate. But most of the time, we would go straight home at mag dinner kami na magkasabay. May luto ng food yung maid or yung yaya niya kaya we would spend the rest of the night relaxing. I would retire to my room to rest and do some works at ganun din ang daughter ko. Sa room niya siya magstay at magagawa ng school work, assignment, exam reviewers, test prep. at iba pa. I’m really proud of her. She is the perfect girl and daughter, ever.
Eventually, my kisses have become bolder.
Maski sa house, mag-ask ako ng kiss sa kanya. One time, after we have an early dinner, had our showers and rested na kami, I saw her seating on the stool by the kitchen counter. Naka head band yung dark, silky hair niya habang nagsusulat ng notes. Yung tenga niya ay ang sexing tignan at may hikaw siya na small diamonds.
Naghihintay siya dun sa pinaluluto niyang midnight snack sa yaya niya. I had to get some water, kase feeling thirsty ako that night at nung pabalik na ako sa room, I leaned to her and kissed her as she faced me. I let my kiss linger for about 4 to 5 seconds. Even before our lips touched, nag-“hmmmm” softly na ako. Nung nag-meet na yung lips namin, I continued my “hmmmm” then ended it with “mmwah!” She did not let go until I said “mwah” and until I moved my mouth away from her.
So that has been my technique to kiss her longer than the casual and momentary kiss on the lips.
The next morning, paghatid ko sa kaya sa school, before she stepped out of the car, I said “hmmmm” and shaking my head a little as I leaned to her. Parang bang small rocket na kunwari liliko-liko tapus maglalanding sa lips niya. I pressed my lips for about 4 seconds, and then, I let go of her lips as I muttered “mwah”. The same thing I did when I picked her up, and also sometimes in the house. She was so innocently receiving my kisses because they seemed to be harmless.
When I kiss her that way, our lips touch evenly. My upper lip touches her upper lip and my lower lip touches her lower lip. And it’s been like that for a while. These routinary kisses somewhat hid the unrevealed lust and great affection that has been building inside me.
I tried to reveal a little of my burning desire. One morning, again before she stepped out of the car again, I just leaned towards her and without the introductory “hmmm….” But instead of touching her lips evenly like before, I kissed more her lower lip. So my lips sandwiched her lower lip and locked it for 3 seconds before I released it with a soft-sounding “mwah.” She looked at me and was a little puzzle but she smiled when I smiled and said, “bye, see you later.”
During those times, seldom I kissed her that way para hindi siya ma-ilang. Kaya yung typical na naka-sanayan niya na “hhmmmwah”! and ginagawa ko. But syempre, I could not resist her charm, so again one morning, feeling greatly passionate sa anak ko, I held her right cheek with my left hand as I leaned from the driver’s side. I kissed, trapped, and lightly sucked her lower lip for 4 to 5 seconds. After I let go of her, I said, “I love you, baby.” She looked at me, a little surprised but not appearing annoyed or disgusted. She went to school and I went to work.
Throughout the day, I was a little concerned about her reaction but I felt relieved when she texted later that morning and said, “I lv u 2, dad.”
For several days, and the following weeks, I would kiss her in the typical, less sensual way and sometimes, in the more passionate, light lip-locked kiss of her lower lip. But the lip touches were not longer than usual para she will not feel uncomfortable. Pero, minsan, I tend to forget and had acted less mindful of what she may have felt.
Like I said, the morning time, on the way to her school, is the hardest not to be more attracted to my daughter. Kase yung nga yung bago siyang paligo, amoy na amoy fresh siya talaga at on my part, sa umaga kase talaga enhanced ang libido ko. Nakakabaliw talaga siya. Kaya one time, almost uncontrollably, I held her face again as I kissed and locked her lower lip, pero I extended my tongue (for about 3 seconds) and touched and licked her lower lip. This time, I felt she was startled a bit, but I immediately said, “I love you.” Luckily this time, I did not have to worry for the rest of the day about her would be reaction because she replied kaagad na, “I love you, dad.”
While I was no longer worrying that day, our kiss left me feeling aroused the whole day. I was very pre-occupied of the thoughts about her soft and sexy lips. I was so excited to pick her up after school. Kaso, so not to scare her, I just held her hand while we were in the car and planted some light kisses on her hand. She was nonchalant about it dahil nag-kwekwentuhan na lang kami habang papa-uwi. Pagdating naman sa bahay, sa garage pa lang, I hugged her and kissed her forehead. Then, I let her go. That night, we prepared for dinner, she did her homework, and we rested.
Around close to midnight, I chanced upon her again while she sat in the kitchen waiting for her merienda. I approached her and chatted with her for a while. I had my glass of water and before I returned to my room, I leaned and kissed her left cheek. She sensed that I wanted more, kaya she faced me and allowed me to kiss her lips. I again, extended my tongue to touch more of her lower lip and I kissed her longer. I held her upper back with my left hand as I kissed her.
The kiss lasted for about 5 to 6 seconds before I released her mouth. Pero dahil my hand rested on her back, I felt that she wobbled just a little bit. Maybe she felt weak when I kissed her. I’m not sure, though. But I was glad that I was able to control myself and left her alone in the kitchen. But there’s another thing that I noticed when I placed my hand on her back. I did not feel any strap on her back so I realized that she was not wearing a bra inside the house.
Come the following morning, I already took the car out of the garage and waited for her to come down. I anticipated that the whole car will again be engulfed with her fresh morning scent. Her fragrance is like the source of my energy to last the whole day. It’s better than freshly brewed coffee. Her fragrant body makes me horny the whole time.
Pagsakay niya, her hair was still moist from her shower, and I also smelled the fruity and delicious smell of her hair. I held her hand again on the way to her school and pressed it a little with my hand. Kissed the back of her hand once in a while, too. Before she stepped out of the car, I leaned and held her face with my hand and kissed her lips, and I again extended my tongue, touching her lower lip. But this time, I pressed my tongue on her lower lip with enough pressure that my tongue slid up a little and touched her receiving lips. Her mouth was closed…