After what happened to us at his resthouse, I filed my resignation almost 2 months after that. Because I was already feeling something strange for my boss. It was something that a humble secretary like myself should not be feeling. I always knew the consequences if I still allowed myself to stay. It won’t be healthy for my mental health and self-esteem. I was never the risk taker when it comes to my emotions before. I was young, careless and stupid.
Everyday, ang daming babae na tumatawag sa kanya sa office, and ako lagi nakakasagot. These women are the real deal. Educated, elite, sophisticated and most of them were beautiful. You see, I live in small and yet progressive city. Halos lahat ng tao magkakakilala. At the back of my head, wala akong laban so I have decided not to risk it.
If only sensible convo and kakulitan lang yung laban, baka pwede pa e. But it wasn’t. Ayoko rin kasi ilaban yung alam mo na talo kana from the very start. Masakit din kasi umasa and I knew that my feelings were valid.
He was my boss pero ang hirap kapag ramdam mo na meron kang nafifeel na something special towards him. And I am sure that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. Ang daming nakapalibot e.
Then one day I got a text from someone asking me how I was. The number was not saved on my phonebook. So I asked who he was. It was from Rads. Nagulat din ako that he would go out of his way to ask how I was doing months since I left his company.
Bored daw siya and he was asking me out for coffee. I went and did have a good conversation with him. Sad to say, I had the chance na sana to say how I feel for him pero ewan ko ba, blame all the stupid nerves that comes all over me during that meeting. Pero wala talaga e. Inisip ko kasi wala naman mangyayari, wala na naman patutunguhan. But what if kaya sinabi ko? Ano kaya yung outcome diba?
Ang boring na ng series kong to. But I just want to share with you my realizations during our last meeting.
First it is okay to be friends with your ex boss, it may not feel the same to other people but to some it can. Don’t listen to what other people say. Yan lagi ang sisira sa diskarte mo sa buhay… always do you.
Second, if you are full of insecurities and you allow those insecurities gets to you, walang mangyayari. If you think na pwede naman ilaban and you think may chance naman kayo ng special person mo, why not give it a shot? Always try your best to talk it out… walang masama, so be brave. Even if you think that your special someone is too way out of your league. Dalawa lang naman kasi yung sagot dyan e. It is just a yes and a no. If yes edi okay good news sa yo… pero kung “no” naman yung maging sagot niya edi atleast walang regrets diba?
I honestly think that at this age, lakasan nalang ng loob talaga. Wala ng mas maganda, mas sexy or mas matalino when it comes to relationships. Lahat pwede magbago in just a snap. If now super inlove kayo, then *knock on wood* hiwalay na later. Nothing is certain… human emotions are fleeting, and always changing. Yung mga kasal nga naghihiwalay pa diba? So why not give it a shot? Tapangan mo bro and sis. Walang mawawala. Promise. Atleast walang what if’s!
If you can’t be lovers, just offer your friendship. Malay mo in God’s or the universe’s perfect timing magkachance kayo… do not simply give up on good people..romantic feelings usually fades more easily than a good friendship.
As for my ex boss and I, we don’t talk anymore and see each other but atleast we ended up on a good note. Kaya if tinotorpe kapa even if you’re a girl or a guy, let your feelings out. But do it in a classy way. I wish you all the best!
Thank you all so much for reading my mini blog. So long… on to the next.