January 2, 2020
Nasa ospital ako at kasama ko si Mama dahil ooperahan siya kinabukasan.
Andun din si Ate pero umuwi muna siya dahil nakalimutan niya phone niya.
Which is so clumsy of her.
Dumating yung doctor ni Mama na sinabing maligo na siya tonight kasi she won’t be able to take a bath after few days dahil sa surgery na mangyayari bukas.
So my mom decided na maliligo na siya tonight, kaso di siya nakakaligo ng walang mainit na tubig. Nagtanong ako sa Ospital kung merong mainit na tubig kaso wala daw.
Tapos bigla kong naalala yung church namin, walking distance lang kasi from the hospital. Laging nandun yung Pastor namin kaya nagchat ako sa gc ng Youth kung may tao ba sa church.
Sumagot yung Pastor naming kapatid ng isa sa mga exes ko, and he said na wala raw siya sa church at the moment. They asked why ko natanong kung may tao, sinabi kong nasa ospital si mama and need niya maligo ngayon kaso di makaligo ng malamig na tubig si mama and gabi na rin kasi.
Until, one guy responded na meron daw sakanila. I know him for more than half of my life. So I was grateful na he’s willing to help kahit na we’re not close anymore. So ayun I thanked him and said na pupunta ako dun mamaya. I washed my face and my private part due to the sweat na naranasan ko mula nung pumunta kami ng ospital. Lumabas na ako ng hospital at tumawid na para bilhin yung mga kailangan ni Mama.
Right after ko makabili ng mga pagkain na kailangan ni Mama sa may Mini Stop (Rubbing Alcohol, Skyflakes, Cup noodles, a 6-liter gallon of water), dumiretso na ako sakanila.
I greeted his mom na sobrang bait, matagal na rin naman kasi akong kilala. She then told me to come in and wait for Kuya Joe to finish boiling the hot water dahil marami nga yun dahil panligo. I came in their store and talked to his mom about my mom being hospitalized and we kinda talked about my life and so forth. She even toured me in their house, it’s quite large.
After the water boiled, his mother insisted on driving me back to the hospital kasi marami akong dala, may thermos pa. Ayoko sana pumayag kaso nilalabas na ni Kuya Joe yung single motor niya kaya nagpasalamat nalang ako. Umangkas na ako at nilagay sa pagitan namin yung mga binili ko.
I thanked him then he left. Then I chatted him privately and told him that I will return the thermos tomorrow. Dun nagstart ang conversation namin. Napag alaman kong 24 na siya, which is 6 years older than me. At first, I’m enjoying his company. Habang kausap ko siya, kausap ko rin yung last ex ko, yung 5th. Dahil he kept saying sorry for hooking up with my bestfriend. He wants to come back but I can’t accept him back, dahil I hate the toxicity of our relationship and trust must be earned not demanded. Kinwento ko yun kay Kuya Joe, and he told me I deserve better, I shouldn’t settle for someone na walang ibang ginawa kundi saktan ako. i was touched by his words until he became personal. He asked if may nangyari samin nung 4th ex ko (yung kapatid ni Pastor).
I didn’t answer his question, because I don’t want to talk about my first sex.
I was focusing in containing my tears para di makita ni mama na umiiyak ako dahil she will surely say something that will hurt me more.
I felt awkward with Kuya Joe, and said na that was too private to talk about. Umabot kami ng 3AM na magkausap then he asked kung gusto ko daw ba mag breakfast, sunduin niya raw ako sa may church. Saktong kumalam sikmura ko, and my mom is currently sleeping deeply.
So yeah, I agreed.
Umangkas ako sakanya and didn’t dare to touch him dahil ayoko ng malisya.
Kaso nagulat ako sumobra kami sa Mini Stop. I asked him kung saan kami magbbreakfast, he then said basta daw. Then I remembered the confrontation ko sa bestfriend ko, naiyak ako habang nasa daan because di ko nagawang umiyak sa harap ni mama. I was emotionally unstable, being able to hold my tears for so long is an accomplishment.
He then noticed, nagulat ako nung bigla kaming huminto sa gilid ng daan.
He then, get off and looked at me, and asked kung bakit ako umiiyak.
I told him why, and I was shocked when he hugged me. It was the comfort I needed after being torn apart for 8 months straight.
We then continued the ride to wherever he plans to be.
Tuloy tuloy lang kami sa daan, then nagulat ako nasa isang guesthouse na kami.
Walang pagkain sa loob kaya sure ako sa mangyayari.
Pagpunta namin dun, I am so sure kung ano ang mangyayari pero di ako umalis.
W…