If you have read this story before, you may notice a few difference in some of the details from the original writing. As you know I was careless about some of the details i shared with my story before and not realizing the risk of all information that i shared. Re-sharing this story also gave me some time to proofread my writing so some minor changes are being made as well. Other than that, plot and character names were all the same.
Huge FYI to readers and fellow writers; I’m not a writer. I’m just a trying hard storyteller. My writings were not intended as an erotic novel masterpiece and it will never ever be. It was planned as a confession story for message boards so i hope the format of my writing are allowed and excused by those grammar police, fellow writers and critics. Good vibes lang tayo.
Other than that, I’ll leave the argument to you guys if this is based on a true story or not. That’s part of the fun right?. Also, this story is written in “taglish” as i wanted tell the story the way i’m comfortable expressing myself and my “other self” as well.
Chapter I
You guys can call me J pala. Makati girl, I’m a Civil Engineering graduate from one of the most prestigious universities in Manila. My parents are both successful professionals and used to run their own, let’s say a small but thriving construction firm. Our life was great and comfortable. We live in a nice house, own a few nice cars and grew up with drivers and helpers around. I grew up with a sister just a few years younger than me. Our personalities are in complete opposite with each other as she’s more of a party girl, adventurous and pasaway type and i’m in to clean fun, goody two shoes type of person.
As far as personality goes, I am generally friendly, lively and easy to get along with despite the fact that i am really a snobby person inside. I’m not loud or confrontational. I’m prim and proper with a confident demeanour that sometimes often come across as mataray and rude. Regardless, not once i treated people with disrespect (except maybe the wrongdoings I’m about to share) and act almighty. I have a personality and people i came across with respects that about me.
As for looks, I’m not gonna pretend that I’m this super-hot babe or drop dead gorgeous chic like the ones you’ve seen on TV or magazines. I’m not going to paint your imagination na I’m this sobrang wow na girl just to get you guys excited. I’m a regular looking chic, more of a girl next door type, a type of girl that you would probably be proud to meet your parents. Cute rather than beautiful. I have a slim frame, heart-shaped mataray face, chest length hair (no bangs). The only drawback about me is my height (I’m a little above 5 feet) but actually most guys find that cute about me. Maybe I’m being conceited or not pero kasi I hate rating myself tapos hindi pala ganun tingin sayo ng tao. But one thing is for sure, I do get a lot of suitors and attention.
As far history of my dating goes, I only dated two guys my entire life. The first one was my college sweetheart named Christian and I’ll tell you guys more about him later. I met my second boyfriend Mike just last year and we are currently living together and marriage is something we have already been discussed and planned.
Christian and I dated for 4 years while i was still in college. I met him during my 2nd year in college while volunteering for an elderly care group. Same school kami but he’s two years ahead of me. He’s well mannered, soft-spoken, respectful kind of guy and he loves me so damn much. Too much that sometimes it’s not even fair na minsan. If anyone of you watching The Big Bang Theory TV series, he’s very much Leonard and I’m his Penny. Even though he’s the best guy I know and I care so much about him, there’s something about him that was really lacking but i can’t pinpoint and identify what it is at the time.
There’s nothing much to share about our sex life when we were together. I was raised with the mindset of sex after marriage just like everybody else. Being a prided teenager that I am, I put that mindset to my heart and never let anyone persuade me away from it. I never let Christian touch me for years and nilagay ko din sa mentality nya na sex is something that he needs to earn from me.
At one point during our first few months of dating, he tried to make “chansing” while we were watching a movie and later that night I broke up with him for real. He was so sorry and begged me to take him back, well nagkabalikan naman kami after a week pero since then he never tried or insist anything about sex anymore. He loves me so much and he’s willing to wait and be patient to earn it. Looking back, natatawa na lang ako why ganun ako mag isip and why I’m using sex as some kind of power and control over someone.
Of course along the way, I got curious about sex din naman. Most of my friends have something to share or joke about it and I have none. Most of the time they avoid talking or joking about it with me nalang. Naiilang daw sila because they know na it makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable. Well it’s not like I hate the idea of having sex, really i don’t mind. It’s more like i do not want others to feel na i’m that easy and they can get through me that way. I have this cautious thinking na most guys are predators at sex lang ang habol nila sa mga babae.
3 years in to our relationship, we both decided to give it a try. I can say na parang societal pressure nalang so that I won’t feel so nave about it and at the same time parang masyado na kaming matagal and for us not to do it seems to be pretty unfair to him. We’ve probably done it for like 4-5x lang, and all I can say that the experience is more like “exploratory” rather doing it for the sarap. I’m also his first so we were both clueless and not even sure if we are actually doing it right. Add the fact na we are both paranoid na mabuntis nya ako so that takes the fun out of it.
I don’t even remember nga na we have a “completed” sex session. Most of the time we were stopping every few minutes kasi nga kapag he’s about to cum na, titigil na sya to avoid unintentionally cumming inside of me. Imagine ganun pa rin kami ka paranoid kahit na he’s wearing a condom. At that time, I have no complaints naman about the experience since I don’t have any experience to compare it from. I was only able to get off when I’m on the receiving end of our foreplay. I refuse to try and give him a blowjob so nagsesettle nalang kami sa handjob to get him off. But still, props to him for popping my cherry.
We’ve been together for almost my entire college years until we decided to break up due to distance. He started working in Singapore and at that time I’m still finishing up school. There’s no way naman na papayagan ako ng daddy ko magwork ako overseas. It was a mutual breakup and there were no ill feelings at each other. Later on i found out he was really devastated after our break-up but he didn’t show any of that sa akin. We remained friends and still in contact with each other kahit wala na kami.
To be honest, I really took him for granted, and feeling ko he’s always going to be there waiting for me. I can tell na he still loves me and cares about me na parang if i whistled for him to come back, he will come running. On the other hand, i was so ready to move on. At that time, I was ready na din to be single and experience being courted again. I was so full of myself thinking na guys will be lining up for me and imagining my girl friends goes kilig sa mga future na manliligaw sa akin….all that immature stuffs.
Chapter II
It didn’t take a while before I started enjoying my newly-found relationship free life. I was able to focus on my school and my freedom after school life. After graduating, I started working as an QS apprentice sa isang design firm. I stayed there for a couple of months until yung daddy ko pinipilit nya na magfocus nalang ako sa company namin. At that time, I feel like he’s controlling my whole life and career. I didn’t choose my career, they did, with the intention na gusto nila na ako ang magtutuloy ng naumpisahang business nila. I’m cool with that naman but I wanted to be independent din, earn my own money starting from the ground up, learn and relearn from my own failures.
While working sa company namin, I manage to gain a lot of contacts and friends. I met a few guys and got a lot of suitors as well. and not be brag but I couldn’t count them all na kasi yung iba e showy while others are playing safe naman at hanggang paramdam lang.
I learned to be available but not too available. I keep telling them na I’m still in the phase of getting over my previous relationship and I’m appreciating my single life pa. Men are like kids and the more you push them away, the more they wanted you the most. I learned how to charmed men and make them habol witho…