My Safety Switch

That was eight years ago when I created my first dummy account in one socmed platform. My initial intention was to disconnect myself from toxic people around me. Accidentally, nakita ko yung community ng mga walkers (your sex service providers) on that platform. I got interested sa iba’t ibang kwento ng mga walkers – why they need to do that, how do they feel, and kelan nila plano magstop. Sa dinami-rami ng reasons, one story caught my attention. This lady didn’t need money, hindi tulad ng karamihan sa mga kwento ng mga walkers na ika nga ay “kapit sa patalim” para pangtustos sa araw araw na buhay. This lady was doing it just for the experience or out of curiosity – gusto makatikim ng iba’t ibang burat – bata, matanda, mahirap man o mayaman. Hindi ko inaasahan na matuturn on ako sa ganitong bagay. I was imagining na I am that woman, I wanted to be like her. Gusto ko rin magpaputa sa iba’t ibang guys out there.

I was only 22 that time at hindi pa solid yung experience ko on sex. I have my third boyfriend noon and we were only doing vanilla. Then I met this one guy online and I was able to share my fantasies with him. At first, I noticed that he was befriending me because he likes me, my nudes, my moans, my voice, my character I guess, and especially yung kati ko katawan. Yes, we did what you imagined na ginawa namin – but everything virtual. When we started to share our personal lives with each other, I feel na lumalim din yung connection between us. Lust turned to a friendly love. Actually, if hindi dahil sa kanya, baka hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko na buksan ang pinto papunta dun sa fantasies ko. And I am thankful coz he saved my pussy sa pagkalaspag ng iba’t ibang Adan that time. He was like my Kuya for eight fucking years. Yes, we’re virtual friends for eight years but we never met kahit isang beses. It’s funny right? I don’t even know his real name. Basta alam ko, he’s 5years older (I am not even sure).

I think that was only 3 years ago when I started to call him Kuya Chard and we never shared any lustful moment starting then. He just stayed as my Kuya – minsan BI pero madalas naman he guides me para di ko matap ulit yung fantasy ko na possibly ay hindi ko kakayanin yung consequences. He was like my safety switch.

Fast forward to 2023 and I mentioned na bumabalik ulit yung desire ko to be fucked by iba’t ibang guys. Hindi ko mapigilan. I’ve been chatting with different guys that time and each of them are very willing to meet me. Sinabi ko sa kanya na we have plans already nung isang guy to meet sa darating na weekend. And he was mad, very mad. Two days nya akong hindi kinausap.

Then dumating yung Friday night, I am already preparing to sleep nung tumawag si Kuya Chard.

C: Sam, tuloy ba kayo bukas?
S: I think so. Are you still mad Kuya?
C: I think you should cancel that. Let’s meet tomorrow?
S: For real? After 8 years, you finally wanted to meet me?
C: Oo. Hindi ko lang sure sino mas gusto mong i-meet.
S: Hahaha! San tayo bukas?
C: Treat kita ng lunch. Gusto mo sunduin kita?
S: Bakit? Alam mo ba address ko?
C: Oo. Nakasave pa rin sa akin just in case.
S: Haha sige I’ll chat you san safe ako sunduin. See you tomorrow. Should I wear my panties?
C: Sam, don’t start.
S: Hahaha bakit ka na…