When I started working in a BPO industry, I’ve met a guy who is a little younger than me. That time, I was vulnerable and came in a broken relationship. I was left by my partner and sumama sa bakla. What a big fuck diba. Imagine babae kana pinagpalit ka pa sa bakla.. Mapapatanong ka, ano pang kulang? Well, sa ngayon pag naiisip ko yun natatawa na lang ako. Anyways, going back to the guy na nakilala ko, we’ve been friends actually. And since broken nga ako that time, sya yung nag comfort saken. Tinatawagan nya ako every once in a while.. During our training days naman, lagi syang nasa tabi ko. Guiding me through out the process since bago lang ako sa ganung industry, and sya naman may experienced na. So as time goes by, bumabalik ako sa dati kong sigla. Nakaka moved on ako sa gagong lalakeng nang iwan sa akin. Eh syempre, as expected, sa kanya nabaling yung atensyon ko. One day, nagtapat sya sa akin. He likes me daw. Kaso not yet ready for commitment. He wanted to be stable muna sa work na yun kung san magkasama kame. And he made a promise na pag okay na kame dun, stable na, liligawan nya daw ako. Eh syempre ako bilang babae, what do you expect diba. Then everyday na pagpasok namen sa work, dinadaanan nya ako sa apartment. Nagdadala sya ng pagkain or anything na pwede ko magamit sa bahay. And then one day, when we passed the first assessment.. And as for celebrating the winnings, he asked me if he can stay with me sa apartment the whole night. Which will be the first time.. Eh syempre ako how would I say no.. At syempre may nangyare samen. He’s kinda daks,( kung tawagin nila), and new for me. Kasi my past boyfriend is tama lang. The standard size ng pinoy. But I can say hindi sya magaling gumalaw. Nabibitin ako. But that time, doesn’t matter. Coz what matters most is that mahal ko sya.. And while we’re having sex, he kept on saying na masarap ako, na magaling ako, na sa kanya lang ako. Na walang ibang pwedeng makakatikim saken kundi sya lang. So syempre, that was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Hindi ko lang alam sa iba..
Nagtuloy tuloy yung pagiging workmates and m.u namen.. Not knowing na that m.u means, MALABONG USAPAN…
Then one day, my bestfriend, (which is also our co-worker) got into a car accident. So since he’s the only one who’s living here in the Philippines, lahat ng pamilya nya nasa ibang bansa na, no one will take care of him sa ospital. He has a girlfriend, but also working. So I have no choice but to act as a bestfriend.. Alternate kame ng gf nya sa pagbabantay sa hospital. Whenever I come out from work, diretcho sa hospital so his girlfriend will go to work naman. Yun ang naging buhay ko for almost a month. Hanggang sa hindi na kinaya ng katawan ko. Nagkasakit ako. But still, have to continue what I am doing.. Hanggang sa nagaaway na kame ni guy. Kasi nawawala na daw ako sa focus. Which is true naman. Nagkaron ako ng absents, hindi makasabay sa flow ng lectures.. Hanggang sa I was terminated.. Kaya lalo kame nagaway ni guy.. Til that one day, na nagkalabuan na kame. Hindi na gaya ng dati..
Then there was a time when we are in the hospital, that guy invited me sa team building nila. And that was two days before my birthday. And as expected, I said yes.. We went to that resort the same day that he invited me. Well, okay din naman kasi kilala ko naman ang mga kasama. Mga ka team namen before. Lahat nagtataka. If we have a relationship. Kaso wala.. So wala kameng naisagot.. Magdamag na inuman, kwentuhan, then 5am in the morning, the team decided to packed up.. Kameng dalawa, umiba kame ng way.. We need a place wherein solo namen ang bawat isa. And another round happened.. We made sex.. After that, hiwalay na ulit. Ako balik sa hospital, sya uwi sa bahay nila to take a rest..
It’s my birthday.. My bestfriend and his girlfriend bought me cake to thank me for taking care of him. And of course, posted it on facebook. While browsing, my bestfriend saw a post from this guy.. With his girlfriend.. Yes!! After that guy promised to court me, may girlfriend na pala sya.. And that was too painful para saken.. I felt like I was a big mess that time.. I do have a lot of why’s in my mind.. Bakit ganito, bakit ganyan.. Inisip ko pa na ako ang may problema. And of course, I’ve shed too much tears for…