SHE:
I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I can see nothing but darkness. Sleep has eluded me tonight. I look at the man sleeping soundly beside me, wondering if I am the one in his dreams. I swallowed a lump in my throat and blinked back the tears. How long should I endure this? How long am I willing to stay like this? How long should I keep denying that I may be in his arms but his heart is somewhere else? These thoughts, these feelings, are slowly killing me.
I slowly peeled the blankets off me and stood up. I put on my robe and went out of the room, gently closing the door behind me. I went to the balcony and looked at the stars above. And when a falling star passed by, I closed my eyes, let the tears fall and made a wish.
HE:
I lay on the bed, with one arm resting on my forehead. I cannot sleep while the woman beside me is breathing peacefully. I looked at her and I know that we cannot keep being like this. I know she was the one who pursued me and I gave in, but this has got to stop. I don’t love her, hell, I don’t have any feelings for her! I don’t know why I suddenly gave in to her advances.
I slowly removed the blanket off me, careful not to wake her up. I felt her stir, I paused. I got up when she settled back again. I went out, feeling the cold air on my skin as I looked up at the sky. A falling star passed by. I don’t believe in them but I closed my eyes and made a wish.
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VERSE 1
SHE:
I would await his return, always never knowing when. And when he does, it’s only for a short time. It does excite me, though, because he’s always away for a long time. But it also saddens me because when he comes over, it’s only for a day or so. I am still happy because he makes time to be with me despite his busy schedule. Still, I can’t shake off the feeling that I’m not the only one he visits when he comes over. This damn nagging feeling won’t go away! I don’t tell him and just keep it to myself.
Soon, those feelings turned to apathy. I fought so hard for it not to come to this point. I knew that when I started not to care, this relationship would go downhill. I knew that when I stopped thinking where you were, what you were doing, what time you’d be home, I knew, sooner or later, whatever remains of the relationship will die.
Please help me not to resent you.
HE:
She would always want to know where I was, who I’m with, what time I’m going home. Every single detail of my action has to be recorded, has to be reported. Should I fail to report, a fight ensued. I have never felt strangled in all my past relationships. But she doesn’t understand that and I am helpless not to follow her instructions. I feel like she is choking the life out of me.
Now along comes a girl who has been flirting with me constantly. She has been trying to get my attention for the past few months and I think it’s time I give in. With all the stress I have been going through, I need some sort of a stress reliever and here she is offering herself to me.
And so, the web of lies and deceit has been created.
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CHORUS
SHE:
I decided to go to a friend’s place one day and it was there that I met him. He was charming, well, he still is. Of all the guys in the room, he was the one who got my attention. I would steal glances at him when he was not looking. I smiled shyly whenever he caught me staring at him. I knew I was blushing but I couldn’t help it. I was acting like a High School girl with her crush.
The more we saw each other, the more I realized that there is something between us, something I can’t put my finger on. We seem to always gravitate towards each other whether we are in a small group or a big one. He would automatically “take care” of me when we go out and was very attentive to my needs. I somehow felt safe when I’m with him.
I remembered the time when I was so drunk when we went out that he had to make sure I got home safely. There were other guys in the group but he took it upon himself to assist me. I remember him holding my hand and gently guiding me in the cab before getting in himself. He was such a gentleman that night and how I wished I wasn’t wasted so I could enjoy his presence without being horrified the next day at how I might have looked like the night before or how disgusting I smelled. I want to relive that night sans me getting drunk.
But I am taken.
HE:
A friend introduced her to me. She was wearing a plain shirt and square pants but she looked so beautiful, especially when she smiled. She didn’t know that I could see her staring at me through my peripheral vision and I secretly enjoyed it. I tried to catch her gaze and smiled inwardly whenever blushed when caught. She is so damn pretty!
Every time we see each other, this magnet between us seems to become even stronger. When she comes into the room, my face would light up and my heart would beat really fast. Then I would always find myself going in her direction and suddenly, I am beside her. It was natural for me to be with her and take care of her and her needs. I want to protect her, I want to make her mine.
One of my favorite memories with her was when she had too much to drink during one of our night outs with friends. I decided to be the one to take care of her. I held her hand most of the time, not because of the fact that she might fall over, but also because I didn’t want any other guy touching her. I assisted her in the cab and dropped her off at her place. I am drunk with her scent. She doesn’t smell like alcohol at all. I would have loved to kiss those lips as she leaned on me but I held back.
Because I am seeing someone else.
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VERSE 2
SHE:
We were with friends having a casual conversation and before I knew it, he and I apparently agreed to go out for lunch one of these days, ALONE.
That was a week ago.
How the hell did that happen? I kept pacing back and forth in my room. I can’t believe that happened. But wait, why am I panicking? It’s not as if I’m going on a date with him. Yes, this is NOT a date! Definitely, not a date! Or is it? Oh my God! I stopped and plopped on my bed face down. What the F have I gotten myself this time?
“You can’t go out with him”, I told myself. I rolled onto my back and answered myself, “I know.” I sighed as I continued to stare up the ceiling.
A few minutes of pondering, I got up and went to the closet. “So, what to wear?”, I asked as I opened the closet. “This is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date.” I kept repeating to myself as I chose my outfit for the day. I settled on a nude colored square pants, black top and some accessories. I put on light make-up, my everyday make-up. “Again, THIS IS NOT A DATE!” I assured myself as I went out.
We met and had lunch, nothing extraordinary. We talked over coffee, got to know each other better and soon it was time to part. He brought me home and it happened.
I found myself tasting his lips on mine.
HE:
I am in a predicament.
A week ago, I had agreed to go out with her. “This can’t be happening,” I keep telling myself. We are not supposed to go out, we both know that. I brought my coffee outside to clear my mind. It was raining last night but now the sun has graced the sky with his presence. The smell of rain still lingered in the air. I inhaled the scent. I’ve always loved the smell of the earth after the rain. It calms me.
I sat on the rocking chair and placed my mug on the coffee table. I looked up at the clear blue sky, as if asking what to do. “This is not a date, is it?” I asked the sky. I rubbed my face with my hands and sighed. “We are just going out as friends, yes, that’s it. It’s not a date. It’s just lunch and coffee.. With a friend.” I reiterated to myself as I went back inside to prepare for the meeting.
I arrived a little earlier than the agreed time, so I strolled around for a bit. When I returned, I saw her standing at our meeting place, watching the people pass her by. Suddenly a gust of wind blew and played with her hair. She looked so simple and yet so beautiful. I smiled when she looked my way and walked towards her.
We had lunch and talked some more over coffee. Nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary. Just 2 friends, talking. As our day ended,…