Hi there. I’m here to tell you my sinful secret. A secret that will definitely destroy my marriage if my husband ever finds out about it. Anyway, pakilala muna ako sa inyo. Just call me Rose. Not to brag but I come from an upper middle class familly. Marami nagsasabi rich daw kami. Well siguro nga sa point of view ng iba rich kami if you consider the state of our country. I’m a mom and a housewife. I met my now husband, Justin after college. We were freshmen at the time when we first met and we were classmates for some subjects. Shortly after I met him, I noticed na may crush siya sakin. The eyes tell many things.
Every time our paths would cross sa campus, in the lobby or hallway. Titingin siya sakin tapos iiwas ng tingin kapag nahuli ko siya. Ang cute talaga niya. He was acting all shy despite having experience already. What I noticed the most was that he mostly stared at my face despite my body that turned men crazy. Nakakatuwa sa feeling. Nagustuhan ko yun kasi halos siya lang ganun sakin. I noticed this over time. Over the years, hindi talaga nag diminish yung pag tingin niya sakin. Sa mga parties din kasi back then, nakakasama ko siya. Barkada din kasi niya yung mga kakilala ko din. So we got acquainted more. Pero iba talaga yung pag stare niya sakin kahit na naka inom na siya. Ramdam ko yung pag tingin niya talaga sakin. I was sure na interested siya in me bukod sa body ko. I felt good about it. Hindi lang siya yung panay tingin sakin. Ang dami daming manyak na school mates pag college student ka. Kaya talaga namang nakakatuwa yung mga tingin niya sakin kasi may pag tingin talaga siya sakin.
I met him again during a reunion party years after we graduated. He was clearly happy I was there.
“May something ba sa mukha ko?”
I asked him when he kept staring. He just smiled and praised me.
“Mas gumanda ka Rose. Sobra.”
It wasn’t an attempt to flatter me. It was a genuine praise. I could tell that much. It was a simple praise yet it made me feel good about myself. Nakaka umay na din kasi yung mga diskarte ng ibang guys na interested sakin. We chatted more about our life plans, work etc. It was casual conversation but I felt at ease and relaxed with him. He never tried to impress me. He was just being him, being natural.
After that reunion was when he confessed to me. Yes hindi siya nang ligaw. He confessed and I wholeheartedly accepted his feelings. I still remember it. It was afternoon when he manned up. I received a message from him, asking me if I could go out with him for a while. Just some coffee and it was his treat. He wanted to tell me something and I accepted it. May idea na ako kung ano yung gusto niyang sabihin. There we were, sitting in a coffee shop and I could feel the tension in the air. I could tell he was nervous. He inhaled and exhaled sharply before he spoke.
“So Rose. Alam mo naman siguro yung pagtingin ko sayo even now. Ilang beses mo na akong nahuli dati pa. Freshmen pa tayo.”
I smiled at him. Of course I knew.
“Oo naman. Ano ka ba. Women knows these things. Malakas talaga pakiramdam namin sa mga ganyan.”
“Yes. Oo nga e.”
It was his turn to smile. Then silence came. He looked at me straight in the eyes and started speaking.
“Gusto kita, Rose. Matagal na. Gusto ko maging akin ka.” He paused to inhale and exhale. “Pakiramdam ko close to zero chance ko sa iyo. Sa ganda mong yan. Alam ko naman na may kapogian ako. Hindi sa pagmamayabang. Pero sure ako maraming dumidiskarte sayo ngayon na mas may itsura sakin. Gusto ko lang talaga malaman mo to. Ayoko lang kasi magkaroon ako ng regrets na hindi ko ipaalam sayo to kahit alam ko na alam mo na.”
Wow! I was that gorgeous in his eyes. For him, I am a goddess. I was quiet for a little before I asked him a question. I’m used to praises that I’m hot, a head turner, crush ng bayan but something about his praises turned me on.
“Hindi mo naisipan manligaw? Maybe try your chance. Take a risk.” You could also say din naman na nag take siya ng risk sa pag confess niya.
Actually pag nanligaw siya may chance siya sakin. He’s tall, good body build and pogi din naman. Pero he felt strongly na wala siyang chance kasi ganun ako kaganda sa tingin niya. And it was true din na marami akong suitors before. I also had a reputation for being a snob. Hindi ko naman kasi pwedeng ma entertain lahat ng lalaki na nagcha chat sakin.
He smiled awkwardly.
“I mean naisipan ko. Pero sa totoo lang. Natotorpe ako sayo. Yung ganda mo talaga nakaka intimidate.”
Wow talaga! Nakakalig nung narinig ko yun. Let me tell you na that was not the first time someone confessed to me. But he was the only one that managed to tickle my heart strings. I looked him straight in the eyes and I could feel his sincere feelings. He wasn’t showering me with those words of admiration just so he could bed me. I was even more sure of it than before. Justin was really head over heels for me. It felt natural. I was captivated. He really made me feel special. I was about to tell him na pwede niya subukan ligawan ako pero at that time, it felt like a waste of time. I already felt hot and ready to accept him. So yeah, I wanted him to bed me. To fuck me so I could feel his burning passion for me. To accept him as my man. It was the first time I felt that way from a guy who confessed to me.
My next words gave him the surprise of his life.
“We can try.”
He just looked at me. Bewildered.
“Pwede natin subukan maging couple and see where it goes.” I removed a foot from my heel and started rubbing it on his knee. His eyes went wide. He couldn’t believe it. I enjoyed the look on his face. I gave him that look using my eyes and lips. Letting him know he can bed me. He picked up on it do and he was really surprised. He couldn’t speak. I then asked him a question.
“Tara?”
Napalunok pa siya at nag stutter mag oo. We walked to the car park to use his car while holding hands. His hand was sweaty and shaking. I wanted to tease him a little so habang naglalakad kami, I blew air on his ear. He felt tickled and looked at me as I smiled at him. I whispered “Relax.”
The drive to the nearest motel was quiet. Justin was nervous and I was excited. Excited to feel his passion for me. And he didn’t disappoint. He knows how to fuck. The fact that he was all shy but knows how to fuck was such a huge turn on for me. That was the time when he openly looked at my body hungrily, full of lust. He did stare before but he wasn’t being a creep about it. We locked eyes many times as he made me his woman. He had a lot of stamina and could keep up with me. We had passionate sex till we were exhausted and I enjoyed it a lot.
I was resting on top of Justin’s body when he asked me a question. He was caressing my hair which I liked.
“So tayo na talaga?”
I looked up to him and smiled warmly.
“Oo nga. Tayo na.”
We locked eyes for a few seconds before I closed my eyes and let him kiss me. I could tell he was kissing me out of love. Not just lust. He was really passionate about it. We broke the kiss and we said I love you to each other.
At first, we hid our relationship. It was much better that way naman. Hindi naman kasi kailangan I-public ang lahat. Pero dumating din yung time na nalaman na ng iba. My office mates quickly noticed it since Justin fetched me after work. He became the target of envy to some of my office mates who wanted me. But thankfully, there were no major incidents. A man’s jealousy is ugly after all. One more thing na nagustuhan ko pa talaga is yung hindi naging mayabang si Justin dahil sa naging kami. He didn’t brag or do anything of the sort.
I met his family soon after and I became a big sister to his female siblings. I met his father. His mother was gone. As for his cousins, they showed admiration for me. I could tell that they were attracted to me. It was only natural pero wala naman sa kanila nag start ng advances sakin. But father-in-law is a different story. Let’s just call him Bernard.
Years after we became a couple, we tied the knot and I gladly bear his child. The whole family was happy. Over the years I got to know Daddy Bernard even more. I could see how proud he is of Justin, marrying a woman like me. The thing is, he never showed any manyak attitude towards me. If he did, he did it in secret. We never flirted both in person or messenger. We were just biyenan and manugang. That’s why I was very shocked the night when he did what he did.
That fateful night happened during Daddy Bernard’s birthday, August 2018. This happened years after I gave birth. The celebration took place sa family compound nila. It was renovated many times para malagyan pa ng ibang bahay. I say family compound pero wala naman dun yung buong family ni Justin. But some of them do live there. And may sariling house si Daddy dun kung san dati nakatira si Justin nung bata pa siya. That night Daddy Bernard took advantage of our drunkenness. It was a cold night and the weather made the brandy we were drinking taste much better. We planned to drink a lot that night so Justin and I had to leave our baby at my parents’ house. My parents understand naman na kailangan din namin ng break from parenthood and so they agreed to take care of our baby from time to time.
It was a joyous party. Many of Justin’s relatives were there. As I remember, Daddy Bernard didn’t act suspiciously at all that night. Normal ang mga naging interaction niya sakin. I’m familiar with the saying “Pag may alak, may balak.” I just didn’t expect it from my own father-in-law. Especially considering how close he is with Justin. It was really surprising. If you just know them.
The time came when it was just the three of us. Justin, I, and Daddy. The rest had gone to sleep. It was past 2 AM. I wasn’t completely wasted but I was drunk. And I told them that I would sleep na. Drinking felt pretty good. I left the two of them as they continued to talk.
And so I went to our bedroom. Justin’s old room. Naghubad ako ng bra, shorts and changed my top to loose sando. I laid down and let the drowsiness take me to sleep. Until I felt a hand rubbing my inner thigh from the back. I remember na I was sleeping on my right side. The hand roamed upwards to my stomach and rubbed it a little before moving upwards to my breast. The hand that was touching me cupped my breast. I thought it was Justin and so hinayaan ko lang yung kamay na ng mamanyak sakin. If hubby wanted to fuck, I’ll give it to him. I was drunk and feeling hot anyways so why not? So humiga ako sa likod ko. My eyes were still closed when I felt him put his body body on top of mine so he could kiss and tongue my neck. I realized then that it wasn’t Justin because he just shaved his beard. The man who was kissing my neck had beard. I could feel it. My eyes went wide.
The only light that night was the bedside lamp. Kulay yellow yung color niya. The dim light showed me it was Daddy Bernard.
“Oh my god!”
I was shocked. It was a WTF moment. I tried to push him away but he was strong and heavy. He just kept licking my neck.
“Daddy ano ginagawa mo?!”
He stopped what he was doing and grabbed both of my arms which were trying to get him off me.
“Pa isa lang ako Rose. Sige na. Birthday ko naman. Regalo mo na sakin.”
He was obviously asking for sex. And then nag resume yung pag dila niya sa neck ko.
“Hindi po pwede. Asawa ako ng anak niyo! Grabe ka!”
“Yun na nga e. Alam ko yun. Pero grabe katawan mo Rose.”
My body squirmed beneath him. And then he continued his assault. He then moved his mouth to my mouth and kissed me. I tried to turn my head away but he grabbed my head on both sides. He was kissing me. I then felt his tongue trying to enter my mouth. I wasn’t letting his hungry tongue in so he used one hand to reach under my loose sando and grope my breast and play with my nipple. That weakened my resistance and enabled him to assault the insides of my mouth. My body relaxed and I found myself kissing him back. We were slurping each other’s tongue.
“Daddy please wag po.”
I said when we needed air. The dim light showed me his smile. I may have said that but alcohol really loosened my guard.
“Alam mo mas nalilibugan lang ako pag tinatawag mo ako na Daddy. Sarap pakingan. Ang sarap mo gawing baby.”
I wasn’t able to to reply right away.
“Kada tawag mo sakin ng Daddy nalilibugan talaga ako.”
He said as he gently massaged my breast.
“Tignan mo tong suso mo. Ang laman talaga. Yung katawan mo napaka sexy pa din. Para ngang hindi ka nanganak e.”
He then lifted his body off and used both of his hands to lift my sando. Exposing my breasts to him. I covered them with my arm but he used his hand to remove it. I had weak resistance and just let him.
“Putang ina talaga ng katawan mo.”
I looked at him and saw his admiration for my bare breasts. He then dove his head down to lick my breast while his other hand groped the other one. I started breathing heavily and moaning a little.
“Baka mahuli po tayo ni Justin.”
I said pero nag eenjoy pa din ako sa pag dede niya sakin. He stopped what he was doing to reply to that.
“Wag ka matakot. Tulog na tulog yun sa baba. Nilagyan ko ng vetsin yung huling ininom niya.”
OMG! I was shocked that he could to that to his own son. My heart felt like it would burst out. I was very shcoked. What the fuck! At the same time, I felt something in me. Something triggered. He awoke that side of me. I was that irresistible? To the point na gagawin niya yon sa sarili niyang anak? My god! I loved how my body responded to that.
“Grabe ka…”
I said in a whisper but he still heard it. I already wasn’t thinking straight because of the alcohol which aroused me but add this shocking revelation? How could I resist to that.
“Ganoon ako ka tigang sayo Rose.”
I suddenly grabbed his face to kiss him. It was my turn to dominate his mouth. He fought back but he let mo do the tongue sucking. He just enjoyed the feel of it. I did enjoy it too.
“Talaga lang ha.”
I saw him smile. It was not the smile of a loving father. It was the smile of a man who wanted to fuck his own son’s wife. Maybe…