She had made it a point to keep herself occupied since she came back to Taiwan. She had her schedule carefully and methodically arranged in such a way that it would be improbable for them to meet, for her to see him or even just the tips of his fingers.
Now, he stood at the center of the convention hall, presenting to the Asian business community the benefits of having a one currency.
Reina inspected Sherwin in his neatly pressed Armani. He looked very dignified and aristocratic.
Except for the sallow complexion of his skin, he hasn’t changed much. His handsome features were still framed by his long hair. His spectacles added effect to his already distinguished gentleman stance.
Reina smiled inwardly. Seeing him with his specs on brought her back to Thailand, where they first met, where she fell in love with him and where she had her heart broken for the first time.
Sherwin Xu, the Predator of the Asian Financial District, spoke with much conviction that at the end of his speech a thunderous applause was heard.
It’s only a matter of time. The Asian one currency shall be realized.
Only did when the people break into a deafening cheer was she zapped back into reality.
Reina stood up and applauded.
“Sherwin is indeed a perspicacious businessman,” Reina acknowledged as she gathered her things and left.
========================================================
The afternoon air was cool and crisp, and the smell of dried leaves hung in the air as it glided through the busy street outside the Taiwan Convention Center.
Waiting for the walk signal to turn green, Reina tightened the sash of her coat as a breeze blew against her, sending a cool tingle to her body. Not even the afternoon sun’s rays could warm her.
Although there was a parking space inside the convention center, she chose not to park there. Instead, she opted to park about two blocks away. She did not want a reason to linger nor does she want to accidentally bump into him.
As the signal turned green seconds later, Reina pushed and shoved against the people blocking her path. It was hard as the traffic flow was just too heavy.
Reaching the other side, she looked back. She stood there for a moment, just overlooking the cars speeding by; her eyes centering on the convention center. Maybe, trying to get a glimpse of the man she had been avoiding.
As she turned to walk, a man ran against her, causing her to bow her head and offer an apologetic smile to the faceless person she bumped into. She then briskly walked to her car.
While opening her car, she felt an overwhelming sadness, a great deal of loneliness seeping through her skin, her veins, and into her heart.
Her mind wandered to how Sherwin looked throughout the convention. He was so vibrant as he conveyed his ideas, so persuading as he answered every question during the forum.
“He has moved on,” She whispered as she slipped into her car.
“That’s what you wanted, right? For both of you to move on,” she blinked, trying to convince herself.
She drove her car and until she reached an intersection. She hesitated which way to turn, causing the other drivers behind her to honk their horns loudly and yell madly at her but she was deaf to them.
She heaved a sigh and turned right and went to the person she needed most at the moment.
========================================================
“Here you go,” Chrissie handed her a margarita.
Chrissie Yan-Li sat herself to a seat next to Reina’s. She folded her legs and sipped her margarita.
“Thanks,” Reina smiled weakly and set her drink on the table and continued to look out into the garden; the sun was playing, spilling its last rays as it started to set.
Reina was at Chrissie’s, in the gazebo, to be exact.
It had always been that way since they were younger and even until now. The troubled one would always run to the other to find solace and comfort in her friend’s arms.
“Still lonely?” Chrissie poked her with her foot.
Reina wrinkled her nose and stuck her tongue out.
“Don’t deny it, Yang. I know you too well.” Chrissie shrugged her shoulders
Reina sighed. She rested her chin on her knees drawn to her chest. “I saw him today. He’s moved on.”
“I’m glad he’s happy now,” she went on weakly.
“Are you really?” Chrissie tried to delve deeper.
“Are you sure that there’s not an itsy-bitsy part of you that wants him to be as miserable as you are now?” Chrissie continued to prod.
She wanted to get an honest answer from her friend. She knows Reina could be very evasive, but what the hell! Reina needed to admit it to herself. She needed to show Reina how it should be done lest she would lose everything.
Reina stood up and made a dash for the main house. “Look, I made my decision. I must live with it.”
Chrissie caught up with her and grabbed her arm and dragged her back to the gazebo. “Damn it, Reina! Quit being such a coward!”
“I am not being a coward!” Reina tugged her arm away but to no avail. Soon, she found herself back to where she was seated moments ago.
Chrissie was huffing from the effort. “Convince yourself.”
“Tell me, Reina. Have you ever told him how you felt?” she downed her margarita and reclined on her seat.
“Of course!” she replied indignantly. “I told him that the night before I disappeared.”
“But it’s all water under the bridge now,” she bit her tongue to prevent herself from crying.
“Hah! All in the past… My ass!” Chrissie yelled at her.
“Why Christine Margaret?! When did you become so unladylike?” Reina raised an eyebrow at her friend.
“When was I ever a lady?” Chrissie’s face was in disbelief. “You’re diverting the topic, Yang.”
“So, any plans of telling him again?” she pressed again.
“You just don’t know when to stop, do you?” Reina was irritated by Chrissie’s interrogation. “It’s no use. It’s over now. It would pointless broaching the subject again.”
“Like I said, you’re a coward,” Chrissie shrugged.
“Yang, I’m sorry to give you a blast from the past but don’t you ever wonder what could have happened if you went and met him the night of his ultimatum? Or told him how you felt when you tried to cook him burnt dinner?” she pointed out.
“I wasn’t in love with him then!!!” Reina shouted defiantly.
Chrissie held out her hand. “Liar!!! Don’t interrupt! I’m not done with my speech yet. Now where was I? Oh yes… If you had swallowed your pride when he went to Lo… Loi… Iol…”
Rainine laughed at her. “Iloilo?”
“Damn! I could never get that right,” Chrissie cursed and made a face. “Yes that place… Back to the topic. If you swallowed your pride back then and just forgave him…”
Reina had to interrupt. “I was hurting, Yan.”
“Like I said, pride and correction, you ARE still hurting. Now, question, what are you going to do about it?” Chrissie tilted her head in one side.
She took Reina’s hands between hers, yet Reina did not face her. “Stop cowering, Yang. You’re so much better than this. I don’t want you living your life full of regret.”
“Sherwin did his part. He went to you. He told you how he felt and still probably feels. He tried. He won’t have any regrets.”
“How about you, Bad Girl?” Reina’s head snapped to face Chrissie, blinking back the tears welling up in her eyes.
========================================================
“How about you, Bad Girl? How about you, Bad Girl?” Chrissie’s words rang like a litany in her head as she drove home.
“I’m not being a coward. I’m just living with my decision,” she rationalized.
“Convince yourself,” Chrissie’s voice, much like her conscience, retorted.
Reina hiccupped and was not able to stop herself from crying, big drops of tears rolled down her face, blurring her vision while driving.
Her eyes darted to the car’s clock. It was 9:43pm. She looked around. It was dark, save for the illumination of the big full moon and the strings of stars across the deep blue of the night.
She rolled down her window and welcomed the chilly wind against her face. She saw the branches of the almost barren trees bending and swaying to the cold night wind. Fallen leaves swirled around the car as she drove past them.
Reina felt the coldness of the weather and the loneliness it brought.
Autumn prepares people for Winter. Unlike Autumn, her heart was not prepared to love, nor was she prepared for love.
She was unguarded.
When she had finally recognized she was in love, it was too late. It hurt… the pain was excruciating… No one had told her about the heartaches love brought.
Her aimless wandering led her to an old familiar path and to an all-too-familiar structure. She hadn’t realized it until she parked in the driveway. Even in her misery, she was surprised her heart still knew the place, her feet led her there.
The house was quiet. It stood serene but simple. It stood innocently, denying causing the pain she felt.
The silent lights on the outside corners created shadows, as if beckoning her to reminisce.
The windows of the bungalow seemed like screens in movie theaters playing short films of her memories with Sherwin.
She recalled that first night they shared in Thailand, the morning when she threw him the remote control, that day Sherwin pretended to slip and fall, that evening he took her home when she was tired, that evening she decided to cook for him which ended up with him having to cook for her, the passionate nights they have shared…
She got out of her car and walked the pathway that ended to the porch. She ran her hand on the bench, feeling the roughness of the pebble-coating, before sitting down and taking out her Capri to smoke.
The heaviness in her heart was too much to bear…too hard to ignore anymore. She fel…