Hello FRIENDS! It’s been a while… I was too busy at work. Maraming demand ang kompanya, at dahil wala akong pera, there’s no room for complaints. Hahaha! Anyways, I apologize to my TG friends if I can’t reply right away. Hopefully, mabakante na ako para tuloy ang kalibugan! Haha!
So this is official, kolehiyala na ako. I left my pasts in high school but there was always one I couldn’t leave behind. That’s Macoy, my first love. I told myself, I will have a boyfriend again if the 3 signs come true. The flower, the kiss under the moon, and ringing bells. Pero si Macoy talaga ang gusto ko. I wish he didn’t take me for granted that time.
My first days in college were boring. My course was boring, my blockmates who were feeling smart were too boring. Since my life is too boring, I decided to enter ROTC. I was lucky enough to get in as a Corp Sponsor. (Just google it kung hindi niyo alam.) I made a lot of friends and I got smaller with them. Because they come from different clans, have different backgrounds and most of them are rich. Hampas-lupa lang ako.
Because I just want to finish quietly, I just ride on whatever trips they take. I mean, just go with the flow… but mahahalata mo sa kanila na they were into something out of my league. Most of them are sexually active, may baon ng vibrator, dildo, clit suckers and a lot more. Napapalunok nalang ako sa topics because I was not open. I was not prepared for the mature topics kasi nga ang alam ko lang ay may something na nararamdaman sa tuwing nakikipaghalikan. At labag din yun sa kalooban ko kasi for me nga malaking kasalanan na yung ginawa ko na yun. It’s very hard when you come from a very conservative and religious family.
My colleagues at ROTC almost always topic men. Estimates how long and how big. I mean napakasalaula ng mga pinag-uusapan pero kailangan mong makitawa, makisama, kasi kung hindi, ikaw ang pag-uusapan. Ganun sila ka-bitch. Hindi nila ako na-tempt to do things they do but they were able to give me a boyfriend. Pinagtatawanan nila ako kasi virgin. And they didn’t even know that I already had my first kiss. Lalo na’t hindi nila alam na nakakita na ako ng dalawang klase ng titi. The jutay na Jumbo Hotdog at ang daks na Embutido. (PM me for the Embutido.)
I don’t flirt, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t play, I don’t do clubbing, bar hopping and other things na normal sa college life. I’m just a simple kolehiyala na laging nakatambay sa boarding house ng kaibigan after lecture. Pero putek nagka-jowa ako ng alanganin sa oras.
Part of it was Macoy again. Dahil sa putang inang pangdededma ng lalaking yan, ayan tuloy. Sinagot ko si Hary na isa ring sponsor, este ESCORT. Yan kasi ang tawag sa mga lalaking sponsor. Pogi kasi kaya pinatulan ko na. Haha!
Hary was kind and gentleman. Nagsimula ang panliligaw niya sa panunukso ng mga kasama ko sa ROTC. Sabi nila, patulan ko na daw kasi sayang. We texted for about 2 months and decided to try it out. Yung 3 signs na hinihingi ko kay Lord, hindi naman nangyari pero nagka-jowa ako. Haha! Isa akong inosenteng madaling malinlang at malanding nilalang.
Honestly, wala naman akong emotional attachments kay Hary. Kung baga, I just want to divert once again my feelings for Macoy kasi sayad na sayad na ang pride ko sa lupa. Nakakatanga ang one sided love. All these years siya laman ng utak mo, puso mo, kahit sa mga plano mo sa buhay kasama na rin siya pero in his own point of view, parang hangin lang ako. Haha. Putang ina mo Macoy!
Balik tayo kay Hary… Usually, mag-uusap lang kami lagi, papaturo siya sa Algebra, help him to prepare for his take home tasks and suddenly one day he asked for a kiss.
Hindi naman sana bago yun, kaso nagulat ako kasi ayaw ko nga ng masyadong intimacy. Sabi ko kasi magiging intimate lang ako kay Macoy lang. (Putang ina, Macoy na naman!!!) And for the record, iniiwasan kong makantot ako. Kasi si putang inang Macoy ang gusto kong mapangawasa.
Nasa student lounge kami at nasa 2nd foor yun, it was made of wood by the way.
I was startled na hindi ko alam kung ano isasagot ko sa kanya. Nakatitig lang siya sa akin habang nakaupo sa table, ako nakaupo lang sa bench. Before I could even speak, lumapit siya bigla and gently kissed me. That time I was eating bengbeng. Yung sikat sa amin na chocolate bar na medyo crunchy and you can buy that for only 8 pesos.
It was soft, his breath was warm and fresh. I can’t still remember the scent, yung pabango niya na iniregalo ko nung January. Grabe yung kaba ko, kasi nakikita ko yung mga dumadaan sa baba.
I pushed him and dinilaan niya yung lips ko na may bengbeng. And he said, “sarap ng bengbeng nuh?”
Tumayo ako, akmang bababa na sa lounge nang hilain niya ako at pinaupo sa lap nya. He is gentleman pero ibang iba siya that moment. Hindi ko malabanan ang emotions ko na nagka-clash just because his eyes were so hypnotizing. Nakakaakit, nakakalibog, nakakapanghina at higit sa lahat, my mind was taken away from me. Parang hindi ako nakakapag-isip ng maayos, just waiting for his next step.
He grinned and pulled my shirt up. I refused. Sabi niya, “Di naman tayo makikita.”
Yung kaba ko at nanginginig kong puki, ramdam ko yun! “Ayaw ko! It’s uncomfortable tsaka hindi pa nga tayo nagwa-one month.” My irate reply. At tumayo ako at umupo sa kabilang side ng bench kung saan nandoon ang mga gamit ko.
He shrugged and sat beside me. Fuck! Yung kamay niya hinahaplos niya sa legs ko. Ang init sa pakiramdam. I can feel my body shaking, my pussy is super wet, hindi ako mapakali kasi ang sarap ng pakiramdam. Takot ulit ang naramdaman ko. Naalala ko yung 1st kiss ko, yung pakiramdam na may opposite sex sa katabi mo at parang tinutusok ang puki mo sa libog. He reminded me again what lust feels like.
“Isang kiss pa, pwede?” pagpapaalam niya sa akin.
Hindi ako sumagot. Naiiyak ako kasi ayaw ko ng ganitong pakiramdam. Masarap pero bawal. I knew in myself that I was not ready. Pero gusto ko rin. I looked at him, and parang naiiyak na ako.
“Ohh? Bakit, 1st time mo?” tanong niya and he suddenly hugged me kasi I started to cry.
I replied, “Hindi naman, kaso nagulat lang ako. Ayaw ko na kasi nito.” he pulled me closer and slowly massaging my back.
“Ayaw mo ng kiss? Bakit?”
I didn’t reply.
“Hindi ba masarap halik ko?”
Kumalas ako sa pagkakayakap then wiped my tears. “Hindi naman sa ganu—“
Bago pa man ako makapagsalita, he kissed me again. Saktong dumampi ang mga labi niya sa labi ko at dinilaan ang lips ko. “Ang lambot ng lips mo. Parang Angelina Jolie, sarap kapag nasisipsip lalo na kapag pulang pula.”
All I knew was that I was staring at him and feeling the movement of his lips. Hanggang sa napapikit ako.
Putang ina talaga, nakakaadik. Lumalakbay na ang kamay niya sa shirt ko at hindi ko namalayan na nasa loob na ng bra ko ang right hand niya. Shittttt! Ito na nga yung kiliti na lampas 1 year kong hindi naranasan.
Gumagalaw na ang lips ko at sinasabayan ko na ng dila. Kinakagat ko ang lower lip niya dahil sa panggigigil ko at bigla niya akong ihiniga. He removed my shirt and bra, putang ina topless ako sa itaas ng student lounge at may mga estudyante sa baba. He licked my neck slowly down to my left boob habang nilalamas ang kabila.
“Shet, tama na please.” Sinasabunutan ko siya ta tinatanggal ang mukhang nakasubsob sa dibdib ko. “Baka may makakita sa atin.” Bulong ko sa kanya.
“Wag ka lang maingay. Kapag umangal ka pa fifingerin kita.” Nakukuryente ako sa mga salitang yun. He looks dominant and handsome to look at and that’s what makes me even more confused. Ayaw ko na gusto.
So I let him do whatever he wanted and I just suppressed my grunts.
He played my nipples. Pinaikot-ikot niya ang mga dila niya na nagpapatirik ng mata ko. Parang umaagos na yung likido sa puki ko and my panty was dripping wet. I felt awkwardness kasi feeling ko umiihi na ako sa pants ko. He opened my legs and stood in the middle. Tiningnan niya ang ibaba ko then he smiled.
“Sige na, bihis na. Makakantot kita dito eh.”
I quickly put on my bra and shirt and groomed my hair. Sa isip ko, “Ang m…