This is a true story about a girl I met on Tinder. She is a rather popular author on this website and was actually the one who led me here, but more on that later.
So anyway, many things these days feel misleading and artificial and it makes me crave connection with people. My job keeps me busy most of the week but something inside of me calls out for intimacy anyway, and so that is what brings me back to Tinder again and again.
Medyo weird, because I actually hate Millenials and all their stupid little apps and accompanying jargon but I have to admit that in this fast-paced society, in this city of 20 million people that never sleeps or even pauses to take a breath, smile genuinely at a stranger or fuck somebody without worrying about yesterday or tomorrow, there is a desperate need for connection, and I will take it whatever way I can.
However, what annoys me sobra about Tinder is all the people on there with such high expectations. Parang I wanna say, look motherfuker, if you are on Tinder, then maybe you shouldn’t be so maarte because obviously, the dating game ain’t really working out for you, right?
This goes for men and women. The girls all say they are not looking to hook-up. Kulang nalang isigaw nila sa iyo. I don’t understand why everyone has to be so unrealistic. I’m saying, bitch please, have you seen your pictures? If you think anyone worthwhile is going to enter into a long-term relationship with you without trying out the goods, you are crazy.
Okay, teka lang, don’t get me wrong though, I do see what has caused this, and it is because the men on Tinder, for the most part, have no fucking game. Let’s face it, if you were any sort of playa bro, you wouldn’t be so desperate to get laid, but patience pays big and nobody seems to get that.
What I propose is a compromise.
What if the ladies start saying ‘we’ll see how it goes’ or ‘tignan natin’ instead of ‘I don’t hook up’? Anyway kahit anong sabihin mo, you probably would, given the right circumstances, and you just don’t wanna feel cheap or you’ve never used your vagina before and don’t know how to operate it.
The men naman will stop acting like pigs and learn to treat women with a little more respect and sensitivity. The problem kasi with all this macho bullshit is that what guys never learn is that being genuine and galante is a far better aphrodisiac than pictures of their ratbu.
Alright, so these were some of the thoughts on my mind one day when I come across this strange Tinder profile of a girl with the obviously fake black and white picture of some long-dead Filipina woman from the turn-of-the-century and it instantly caught my attention. There were several reasons for this.
First, I love old things. Medyo history buff ako. Second, the bio didn’t say “NO HOOKUPS” and third, she claimed to be an author at FilipinoSexStories.com. Honestly, my first thought was, peke ito. It could have almost been a spammer, but the way the bio was written, however short, appeared to be more intelligent than usual. I can’t say what about it that it was, but sometimes you just get a feeling, a looming connection. It’s what I live for.
Baka matawa kayo, pero hindi talaga ako naniniwala that a website like this one even existed. I like to call myself a writer too and have been familiar with erotica for years but never imagined that there would be such a big community in the conservative Philippines, but then again, I should’ve known. People will be people and people are horny.
So I checked the website out, created an account, this one, and messaged the girl. The response was pretty quick and soon I was being maneuvered through a complex web of dummy accounts and profiles. It all felt very covert. I was quietly impressed by this girl who called herself Teresa.
The conversation flowed freely and we made plans to meet the following day. It turned out we were practically neighbors in Pasig, what luck! I have to admit, no matter how many times I do this, it still makes me nervous and I guess that’s part of the fun, right?
The next morning nag-confirm kami about the meet but meron lang daw siyang errand na kailangan gawin and asked me if I would like to come with her. Ako naman, I’m like ‘sure, lets do this’ she said pupunta lang tayo ng SM Bacoor.
Sometimes I feel like a stranger in my own city because although I’ve been to lots of interesting and obscure places in Metro Manila, never pa akong nakaabot sa Bacoor, nor did I even know where the fuck it was. So, labas Google Maps and surprise, its in fucking Cavite! Pero wala na akong magawa, committed na ako and it was a Sunday anyway so there wouldn’t be any traffic.
After lunch I made my way to her place which was our starting point. I was trying to get excited about the adventure pero I kept thinking about how everything carnapped and kidnapped goes into Cavite and is never seen again. I’m really not trying to offend any Caviteos out there but it’s like the Wild Wild West doon.
Anyway, I calmed down by reminding myself that the girl I was chatting with certainly didn’t sound like she worked for some sort of Tinder syndicate that lured men to Cavite for some unspeakable purpose. Bahala na, sabi ko.
Man, she was so cool. She was already in her car, which was black by the way, when I got there. She just rolled down the passenger window and told me to hop in. Astig.
For most of the car ride, I tried to play it cool. When we were chatting online, she sent me her picture and I thought it was too good to be true, but seeing her in person was even better.
As we talked I tried, well kind of tried, not to stare. Luckily I had sunglasses on. She was just my type. She was curvy in all the right places with delicate breasts and a real woman’s hips. She had the sweetest face with a sly smile that touched all the way up to the corners of her eyes and could almost be described as innocent, if one didn’t know better. I loved it.
We ran the errand and had a late lunch of pasta and pizza. We ta…