But what should that goal be? I really didn’t want to fuck the guy. I mean, I wouldn’t want to break his family. And I was programmed by society that I am not supposed to give myself to anyone who is not going to be in my life forever. Old-fashioned, right? I don’t apologize for that. It may be old and traditional, but I believed it. In many ways, I still do. So… fucking the guy is out of the question. So then, what is it I’m after? What do I hope to achieve? I really must be going crazy.
Maybe I just want him to notice me. Maybe it’s just attention from a handsome man? Is that all? I thought about it for a while and came to a conclusion. No, that isn’t all. That’s just the start. I could have his attention all day and night, but I need something more. I want his body and I want to give him mine. Maybe not all of it, but I will gladly give him what I can right now. Above all, I want to make him happy. I want to blow his fucking mind, I want him to be so damn content that he never, ever forgets me.
Just then I remembered a con…