Yun nga ginawa ko . But I was more sad more hopeless.
I could imagine since they had kissed and made up their sex must must hotter, wilder and better. That was how i tortured myself.
One day i woke up and deleted the social media apps in my phone. I even started using a non touch screen phone. I accepted invitations to go out. I met some guys but there was no spark. Until I met Ferdie who was a little bit older, taller, fit and meztiso. He was also kind and sweet. Somehow being with him calmed me down. Si Philip? hanggang tawa at asaran lng kami sa phone at chat. Yeah, I have invitations and I wonder what do guys see in me. There would be guys who would approach me, introduce themselves and get my number. What i did was just get their numbers but would not text them. Bad of me? It’s just that it seemed I had no energy for it. I asked Ferdie why he introduced himself to me. He said I have a semblance to one of the local actresses. Mga konting timbang na lang ibawas datingan na ay Patricia Javier.. Okay, okay. I found it amusing.(Asan ba ang ganda mo teh? Sige pabola ka na lang) Napangiti ako ganun talaga. I could say Ferdie and I were in that stage of getting to know each other. Kahit wala yung spark or chemistry, I tried to be sweet and caring.
So when I felt strong enough, I checked out Manny’s fb. His profile was clean of rants. Everything was back to normal. I decided to unblock him.
“hi dear”
Parang tumigil ang mundo ko nang mabasa ko ang notification kung kanino galing. Literal na huminto ata ang puso ko. Exaggerated? OA? Two words at one liner nataranta nako kung sasagutin ko ba o hindi.
Me: Bakit (at sumagot talaga ako. Pati ba term of endearment namin sinabi sa wife nya!)
Manny or wife: Kumusta ka na?
Me: Ano sa palagay mo? (some girls are just cruel winner na nga sila ipagdidiinan pa. Pero pinagbigyan ko) shattered to pieces
Manny : I’m sorry if I could just make it up to you gagawin ko
Me : Sino ba ito?
Manny: Ako ito dear
Me: How do i know? At hindi ka pala ang wife
Manny: ito number ko …tawag ka para malaman
Me: Bakit ako eh di ikaw.
Manny : Ok text me
Nagtxt ako at tumawag nga. Lakas ng kaba ko nung sinagot ko “yes” (mataray, strong) “ako to” sabi nya . I just said “Ok” and hung up. Bakit ganun nawala na galit ko agad and all I ever wanted was to cry.
Then he sent a pm again
Manny : I shall be there on the 16th sunduin mo ko.
Me: Pano wife mo?
Manny: Naghiwalay na kami.
Me: Sorry (tbh i did not expect that)
Manny: Ok lang ganun talaga. Sunduin mo ko ha sa airport.
Me: Tawag ka na lng kung tutuloy ka (pinipigilan ko umasa) sa makalawa pa naman dating mo
I did not go online after that. I didn’t want to go online waiting for his confirmation or asked him. Two days passed and I did not receive a call from him. Paasa.. At umasa talaga ako na tatawag sya.
Kriinnnng Krinnnnng tumunog ang phone ko at 8 pm. Si Ferdie siguro at kinuha ko sa may tv ang phone ko na may nakakaistorbong ring tone
Me: Oh ano (and it was..)
Manny: Andito nako sa airport, magchecheck in nako .. (kakamadali ko sagutin di ko na napansin ang name ng caller)
Me: So? (strong, ang taray)
Manny: Sunduin mo ako. I shall arrive at 3am.
Me: I cant be there that early. Pupuntahan na lng kita.(wtf strong pala)
Manny: Sige.Tawag ako pagdating ko sa manila.
Me: Ok
At naghanap ako ng maisusuot kinabukasan.Basa mga damit dahil panay pa ang ulan. Hindi ako halos nakatulog. 5:00 am gising na ko. I saw missed calls and text. Nadelay daw flight niya at kakaalis pa lng niya sa airport. Naghanap daw siya ng hotel at yung pinuntahan namin dati ay puno raw. I did not reply. Naligo ako at nagbihis. Lakas pa rin ng ulan. 7:00 am nako nag decide na umalis. Naisip ko si Ferdie. I needed to choose. Bahala na. And i stepped out of our gate.I texted Manny that I was on my way.
Napagkasunduan namin na sa isang convenience store ko sya puntahan sa may Buendia. Hindi ko siya agad nakita pagpasok ko sa store. Kinakabahan ako. Naisip ko bumili na lang. Then paglingon ko andun na siya. Mas cute talaga siya kay Paulo Avelino. Medyo chubby siya pero sakto sa kanya. Hindi ko alam napatitig lang ako sa kanya hindi ako nakagalaw o salita at siya na lumapit sakin.
“Lika na,” sabi ni Manny. Saka lang ako natauhan. Malap…